20 Things 2021 Moms Don't Give a Crap About

This post: 20 things 2021 moms don’t give a crap about

I consider myself a fairly good mom. I’m not perfect by any means, but I give myself a big fat “A” for effort (okay, if I’m being totally honest, maybe a B+).

Ever since the pandemic hit, though, I feel like I’ve fallen off the tracks of motherhood. I’m giving it my best. But my best just isn’t what it used to be.

So many things I used to give a crap about (and, I mean really give a crap about) just don’t matter anymore.

After chatting with a few of my friends, I was relieved to know I’m not alone.

We’re all struggling. We’re all muddling through the pandemic trenches. We’re all off-kilter, completely and totally worn out and moderately (or majorly) cranky. Hell, most of us are in sheer survival mode.

After kicking myself for weeks, feeling the guilt of slacking off in so many areas and worrying that I might never get back to my old mom self, I started to realize that maybe… just maybe, that was a good thing.

The fact is, COVID has taught us all a thing or two… about life, about ourselves, about our families and our priorities.

I’m not saying being a total slacker is ever a good thing when it comes to motherhood, but the mom bar needed to be lowered – not only for our own sanity, but for our kids.

For every mom who’s feeling the pressure to keep up their pre-pandemic pace (and failing miserably), grab yourself a cold one, put your feet up, cut yourself a little slack and know that you’re not alone. It’s okay to let some things go during these uncertain, nerve-wracking times. In fact, it might just be that we need to let some of these things go forever.

Here are 20 things 2021 moms don’t give a crap about.

#1 If Their Kids Wear the Same Shirt Two Days in a Row

Face it, the minute our kids moved to online learning, we gave up all expectations of what our kids would look like in “class.” Seriously, is anyone really paying attention to what others are wearing on a Zoom call? I think not.

#2 Caring Whether Their Kid is a Straight “A” Student

Considering the fact that our kids are in academic survival mode, most moms are caring a lot less these days if their kid lands an “A” in a class and a lot more if they’re adjusting to virtual learning and coping emotionally and psychologically. Bottom line, our kids’ mental health is taking precedence over their grades.

#3 Having a Tidy House

As long as we’re in the middle of a global pandemic and our entire family is home 24/7, what’s the use in trying to keep a clean house? As soon as we clean it, it’s a disaster in 20 minutes anyway. I mean, sure, we’re keeping up with the dishes, throwing in a load of laundry when the laundry basket is overflowing, and cleaning toilets, but keeping our house spic and span? Nope, that just isn’t happening.

#4 What Other People Think About How They’re Handling the Pandemic

We just don’t care what anyone thinks anymore. Maybe we used to a little. Maybe we used to a lot. But, the pandemic has changed all that. We’re all handling this pandemic in our own unique way. Whether it’s opening a bottle of wine mid-day to take the edge off, screaming into a pillow, binge-eating chips and salsa because we can or wearing our favorite yoga pants three days in a row, we’re doing it without excuses, guilt or regret.

#5 How Much Screen Time Their Kids are Getting

We used to care. But now we’ve completely eased up on our kids’ screen time knowing full well that our kids need that downtime and interaction with friends. Hearing our kids laugh, knowing that they’re de-stressing and passing a few hours doing something they love, trumps our fear of them getting too much screen time. That’s one worry we’ll deal with later.

#6 How Many Naps They Take During the Day

The pandemic has put a whole new spin on the word, “tired.” Moms aren’t just tired; they’re exhausted – emotionally, physically and psychologically. So, yep, if we need one or two quick naps to make it through the day, honey, we’re gonna take ‘em.

#7 Whether They Look Cute in Public

Those cute tops, our favorite jeans and wedges in our closet haven’t seen the light of day in months. Yoga pants, comfy tops, sweats and messy buns are the norm and we’re owning it like a boss. Let’s face it, no one can recognize us when we’re wearing a mask anyway, so what’s the point?

#8 If Their Kids Eat Cereal for Dinner

We’ve been cooking and cleaning and sweeping and shopping for months, and we’re dog tired. Just keeping up with the constant demand of food in the house has been exhausting. (And, we have the grocery bill to prove it.) So, yeah… if we toss our kids a box of Cheerios and a cereal bowl and tell them to help themselves, we’re considering it “self-care.”

#9 Whether the Beds are Made

As much as we’d love for our family to slip into a freshly made bed every night, it’s just not on our priority list. Everyone is now in charge of their own turf. If our family likes their bed made, they’ll have to make it themselves.

#10 If They Have 2-Inch Gray Roots

Ponytails, hairclips and messy buns are getting us through these times and we’re okay with that. We’re stretching out our salon visits (or not going at all), coloring our own hair (and it shows) and taking scissors to our bangs (and regretting it). But, it’s a small price to pay for our family’s health, so we’re just dealing with it.

#11 If Their Kid’s Bedroom is Messy

Our kid’s bedroom has become their sanctuary and little corner of the world to be by themselves and escape. If that means their rooms are messier than usual, so be it. As long as it’s not a complete disaster and they bring down the collection of cups and bowls they’ve been hoarding every once in a while, we’re fine. We’ll crackdown on their rooms when life returns to normal.

#12 How Much Coffee They Drink

For a lot of moms, coffee (or some other highly caffeinated drink), has become the most important meal of the day. It keeps us motivated and sane, but mostly it keeps us from killing anyone.

#13 How Often They Binge-Watch TV

We’re cutting ourselves a little slack (okay, maybe a lot of slack). If binge-watching our favorite shows helps get us through the day, so be it. It’s our way of escaping for a few hours and grabbing a little uninterrupted “me time” with a glass of wine and a big bag of movie-style popcorn.

#14 When Their Kids Do Homework

We used to be so on top of our kids’ classes, grades and homework. Now that they’ve moved to online learning, we’re just not as tuned into it as we were. Sure, we want them to do well in school, but with everything so topsy turvy, this is one of those things 2020 moms don’t give a crap about. Heck, we’re happy if they get their homework done at all.

#15 Putting Up a Front for Anyone

We’re way past putting on airs for anyone, including our kids. We try to be strong, but sometimes we need to feel human. When we don’t feel like smiling, we don’t. When we don’t feel like laughing, we don’t. When we feel like crying, we cry. We’ve been in high gear for months trying to hold the family together and keeping things running smoothly. We’re done putting on an act.

#16 What Corners They Have to Cut to Keep Their Job

Our priorities have shifted. With so many people out of work and companies cutting employee hours, we’ll go to pretty much any length (within reason, of course) to keep our bosses happy. If that means serving our family frozen dinners three nights a week, dealing with a messy house or hiding in a closet so we can have privacy to work remotely and get our job done, we’ll do it.

#17 Losing Their Sh#t Every Once In A While

There are days we’ve all reached our breaking point, been pushed over the edge or had enough and… we’ve lost it. We used to think these moments made us less of a mom or weak, but we’re long over that thought process. We may not be proud of it, but we’re muddling through these times the best we can. We know we’re human, that we’ll start fresh tomorrow and our families (and us) will be okay.

#18 How Many Glasses of Wine it Takes to Chill the Hell Out

Our favorite wine, a frozen margarita, a shot of tequila… even moms who don’t consider themselves big drinkers (or drinkers at all) have dipped into the bottle a time or two (or three or four) to help them chill the hell out. And, why not? If it helps us keep life in perspective, helps us appreciate the time with our families minus the stress and relaxes us, that’s a good thing.

#19 Who They Offend When They Say “No”

Your girlfriends want to get together for lunch and you say, “no.” Your kids want to have friends over and you say, “no.” Your husband wants to get out and have dinner at a real restaurant and you say, “no.” Everyone’s personal risk assessment is different right now and people need to respect that. And, those who don’t? Oh, well…

#20 How Much Time They Spend “Scrolling”

No apologies here. We’re scrolling through Instagram, Facebook and our Twitter feed because that’s where we find humor, perspective, camaraderie and raw, authentic honesty about life as a mom in a pandemic – the good, the bad and the ugly. And, hearing other mom’s stories and advice on how they’re managing makes us feel more connected and normal. And, right now, we all need to feel a bit more connected and normal.

20 Things 2021 Moms Don’t Give a Crap About