This Post: The Power of Inside Jokes and Random Memes: How to Bond with Your Teen Without ‘Big Talks’
Written By: Marybeth Bock
Let’s face it, parenting a teenager is kind of like trying to hug a moody, skittish cat that doesn’t want to be hugged. One minute they’re all sweet and telling you the entire, detailed story of their trip to the mall with their friends, and the next they’re giving you snarky, side eye like you just insulted their entire Spotify playlist.
But here’s some good news: you can stay close to your teen without bribing them with weekly Starbucks runs or pretending to understand the latest, ever-evolving slang words they’re using this week.
The Power of Inside Jokes and Random Memes: How to Bond with Your Teen Without ‘Big Talks’
Just as you wouldn’t run toward a moody, skittish cat and attempt to hug it, you don’t want to come at your teen full force with a question like, “How can we get closer, dear child? I totally want in on your life!”
I’ve found that it’s pretty easy to sneak into your teen’s world and bond with them, if you subtly enter through the side door using things like memes, music, jokes, and a healthy dose of not taking yourself too seriously.
We’re sharing seven tried-and-true ways to stay close with your teen, without the cringy, desperate “big talks” that quite often make your teen run for cover. So, why not try to ditch the heavy stuff (at least for now) and connect with your teen in a fun, lighthearted way that’s on their terms?
1. Memes: The Love Language of Teenagers
If words like “skibidi,” “rizz,” or “NPC energy” sound like code from a video game, congratulations – you are not a teenager. But your teen? They speak fluent meme. And while you don’t have to become a full-time memeologist, sharing a funny meme now and then can show your teen that you’re paying attention to what’s going on in their world.
Pro tip: Send your teen a meme with the message “this is so you” (bonus points if it slightly roasts them, but isn’t mean). They’ll laugh, roll their eyes, and secretly be delighted you actually “get them.” Just remember – don’t force it. If you start sending too many memes a day, you’ll go from a “funny parent” to “My mom (or Dad) is so weird… why is she acting like she’s 17?” in the blink of an eye.
2. Let Them DJ the Drive
Car rides with teenagers are the golden hour of teen communication. There’s no need for eye contact, there’s background noise, and you’re both facing forward – perfect conditions for low-pressure bonding. So, if you’re not in the habit already, turn off your news station and hand over the aux cord. Let your teen play their music in the car and not just listen to it through their earbuds, even if to you it sounds like a robot fighting a lawnmower. Be curious. Ask questions like “What do you like about this song?” or “What’s the vibe here – rage or existential dread?”
Even if you secretly want to bleach your ears after the car ride, it shows respect for their taste – and that matters. And if they let you share one of your songs in return? You’ve achieved Level 1 of mutual musical tolerance. Treasure that.
3. Laugh at Their Jokes – Yep…. Even the Weird Ones
Teen humor is, well… unique. You may hear a joke about a capybara eating a croissant that your teen thinks is hilarious. Just play along even if you don’t get the joke. Laughter is one of the easiest ways to connect with your teen. If they know you’ll chuckle or even groan-laugh at their strange TikTok skits, inside jokes with friends, or their dramatic re-enactments of what happened in third-period chemistry, you become someone safe to share joy with. And the jokes will get better over time – I promise.
Also, don’t be afraid to tell your funny stories too, especially the embarrassing ones from your teen years, or even from your day at work. Nothing bridges the generation gap like the tale of how you accidentally stapled your finger in class or got dumped via a Post-it note on your high school locker. Yes, teens usually find stories from “the olden days” of our youth hilarious.
4. Embrace Your Quirks and Cluelessness
You don’t need to pretend to be a “cool parent” to bond with your teenager. In fact, it’s much funnier – and more effective – to admit that you have no idea what “gyatt” means and that your attempts at Snapchat ended with you accidentally sending a filtered vampire-face selfie to your boss.
So, parents, embrace your quirks, pose proudly with your mom or dad bod, or happily admit that you are now obsessed with birds. Laughing at yourself gives your teen permission to be imperfect, too. It says, “I don’t have it all figured out, but I’m trying and we can laugh through the awkward parts of life together.” Just be careful not to try to turn every moment into a comedy sketch. A little goes a long way. Think “funny sitcom side character,” not full-on, stand-up comedian on tour.
5. Share the Fun, Not Just the Rules
When you’re parenting a teenager, it’s so easy to fall into the role of Rule Enforcer, Schedule Keeper, and Homework Reminder, but for teens, that gets old FAST. Teens need parents who can have fun with them, not just spout lectures about cleaning up their room, doing their homework, and applying to college.
Create regular “fun touchpoints” with your teen. Maybe it’s a weekly meme war or a Snapchat streak. Maybe it’s watching a ridiculous reality TV show together or sending funny animal videos. Silly, shared experiences build the kind of closeness that lectures and serious talks can’t.
6. Don’t Underestimate the Power of Inside Jokes
Inside jokes are like glue. They’re the secret handshake of the parent-teen relationship. It might be a word your teen made up, a phrase that got hilariously misheard, or that time one of you knocked over a giant pyramid of canned soup at the grocery store.
Jot these moments down in your Notes app. Refer to them often. Inside jokes say, we’re in this weird and often confusing life together, and teens need that reminder more than we think.
7. When in Doubt, Just Be Present
Sometimes, despite all your best efforts, your teen will be in full-on “I don’t want to talk” or refuse to hear a joke mode. And that’s okay. Your job isn’t to constantly entertain them or try to drag them into an unwilling conversation.
Just be around them. Sit on the couch next to them while they scroll on their phone. Drive them to their friend’s house and ask how their day was without expecting a full recap. Sometimes, a funny note or drawing and a snack quietly placed near their bedroom door says more than a heart-to-heart talk.
And lastly, remember that you’re still their favorite go-to person. Your teen may act like they’re too cool for you, but trust me – they still need your love, your laughter, and your willingness to enter their world – even if you stumble through it a bit.
And one day, when they’re older, they’ll remember how you laughed at their terrible jokes, listened to their loud music, watched horrible seasons of reality dating shows with them, and sent them memes with titles like “Me avoiding responsibility like…”
As a parent, you probably won’t always get it right, but if you consistently show up for your teen with curiosity, humor, and the ability to laugh at yourself, you’re doing it right.
About Marybeth Bock
Marybeth Bock, MPH, is a Mom to two young adults and one delightful hound dog. She has logged time as a military spouse, childbirth educator, college instructor, and freelance writer. She lives in Arizona and thoroughly enjoys research and writing, as long as iced coffee is involved. Her work can be found on numerous websites and in two books. Follow her on Facebook and Instagram.
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