This post: 10 Things Mentally Strong Mothers Teach Their Daughters
In a world that often tries to tear our daughters down, hush their opinions and quietly discourage them from reaching their full potential, we need to be the powerful voice in their head that says, “Yes, you can! You are capable. You are deserving. You are strong.”
Our daughters have inherent strengths within them. We have inherent strengths within us. We need to draw those amazing qualities out of ourselves and inspire our daughters to do the same. We need to give our daughters the tools they need to become strong, capable warriors. Here are a few things mentally strong mothers teach their daughters.
10 Things Mentally Strong Mothers Teach Their Daughters
#1 Embrace Your Unique Qualities
The teenage years are likely the only time in our daughters’ lives when they’ll strive to find themselves all while trying desperately to fit in. And, we all know that teen girls have a tendency to compare themselves to other girls. Rather than striving to be or act like anyone else, as strong moms, we need to encourage our daughters to be brave, to step out of their comfort zone, and embrace everything that makes them truly unique
Inspire your daughter to love her body (which begins when she sees you embracing yours), encourage her to celebrate her God-given strengths, stomp out negative self-talk, and flat-out abandon the idea of perfection. Fuel her heart with a mountain of positivity while giving her the continual gentle nudges she needs to truly begin to accept herself – along with all the wonderful flaws that make her who she is.
#2 Ditch the Drama
Teen girls and drama go hand in hand. But drama can be an exhausting and potentially damaging force in our daughters’ lives, which is why we need to help them steer clear of drama at all costs.
Stay close to your daughter and be the calm voice of reason offering her plenty of support, guidance, and solutions, when needed. Teach her also the value of being a good friend, how to avoid being sucked into the world of gossip, and the importance of surrounding herself with girlfriends who are authentic, accepting, who want to see your daughter do well, and who help her to become a better version of herself.
#3 Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously
At a time in their lives when they should be lighthearted and carefree, far too many teen girls take themselves too seriously. A failed test, a failed try-out, or a failed relationship is enough to leave them questioning themselves and sometimes, even their self-worth.
The sooner we teach our girls to lighten up and not to take life or themselves so seriously, the better off they’ll be. Be the role model your daughter needs. Teach her that failures are merely detours to success. Mistakes are proof she’s actually trying. And, give her the freedom to lean into the small joys of life and officially designate silliness and holding onto her childlike spirit as a necessary part of self-care.
#4 Find Your Voice
Finding your voice in a noisy world can be intimidating, especially for teen girls. Pile on the fact that the teen years are typically when insecurity and self-doubt are at an all-time high and it can be hard for young girls to stand strong, speak up, and defend themselves and their boundaries.
Strong moms know that helping their daughters find their voice is a process. It means we have to identify and chip away at our daughter’s insecurities day by day, filling their bucket of self-esteem so high the world can’t drain it and empower them to believe in themselves and their abilities so when the world pushes them (or their boundaries) they have the courage and fortitude to push back.
#5 Be a Fighter
Our daughters surely aren’t too young to have weathered a few storms in their lives. Challenges in school, problems with friends and relationships, disappointments that have been tossed their way – by now, they’re beginning to figure out that life isn’t for the faint of heart.
As powerful role models and fierce fighters ourselves, we have to teach our daughters how to manage the ebb and flow of life, how to tread water, how to keep getting up, showing up, and brushing themselves off (even when it’s hard) and how to face the challenging stuff in life, instead of running for cover every time life gets hard. Our daughters won’t learn this on their own. They need to witness it, live with it, breathe it, and accept it as the norm.
#6 Find Your ”Why”
It’s been said that “If you know your why, it will inspire you to keep going even on those days when you don’t want to.” Strong mothers know that motivating their daughters can’t be preached, coerced, or forced. True motivation comes from within.
That’s why they fight to help their daughters find their passion, their purpose, their “why.”
Whether it’s a sport they love, a hobby they’re passionate about, or a goal to be better, do better, or help others, strong moms know that the “why” is the true secret to helping their daughters avoid comparison while empowering them to keep going and to remain dedicated to what makes them feel inspired, happy, confident and fulfilled.
#7 Confidence to Go Against the Grain
Peer pressure to follow the crowd – it stands as a powerful and unforgiving force in our daughters’ lives. That’s why we need to encourage (and sometimes push) the rebel in our daughters to dare to be different, to blaze their own trail (even if they’re alone on that trail), to turn a cheek to the naysayers, and to dig down deep for confidence to go against the grain.
When we do, something magical happens. They begin to realize that they do have it in them, that being a leader feels good, and that they hold the power to influence others in a positive and uplifting way. Bravery takes time. Confidence takes time. Standing on their own two feet takes time. To build their confidence and an “I can do this” attitude, they have to put bravery into practice.
#8 Not to Worship Celebs and Stars
Celebrities, movie stars, social media influencers – to some teen girls, they fall just short of royalty. While we can’t prevent our daughters from diving into the synthetic realism of the rich and famous, what we can do is help them perceive that world in a realistic, healthy way and encourage our daughters to recognize it for what it is – sheer entertainment.
Sure, there may be a handful of true positive role models our daughters can follow, but we need to inspire our daughters to be authentic and blaze their own trail as opposed to following in the footsteps of anyone – especially air-brushed models, celebs, and influencers who hold the power to taint our daughter’s view of true beauty.
#9 Avoid Overthinking
Teen girls (and perhaps the entire female species) are notorious for overthinking, well… just about everything. If a boy doesn’t text her back right away, a friend suddenly seems offish or they can’t decide what to wear to an upcoming party, girls have a tendency to dive into every nitty-gritty detail, weigh the options, consider the scenarios, and wear themselves out in the process.
But strong moms know better. They’ve been there, done that and they know it’s a waste of precious time. We need to teach our girls to trust themselves, trust their decisions, let some things go, and avoid dissecting and over-scrutinizing everything in their lives.
#10 Hold a Hand Out to Other Girls
Nearly every teen girl has experienced it. A snide remark, a rumor that found its way back to them, or a judgmental glance from afar.
Some girls are fueled by the desire to put other girls down. Call it what you like – insecurity, jealousy, or straight-up fear, we need to raise our daughters to be different, to be the change.
Teach them to quit gossiping, reach out to other girls who might be struggling, empower and give other girls a boost, compliment them, replace jealousy with acceptance, and stand with other girls, not against them. Insecure, jealous, mean girls grow up to be insecure, jealous, mean women. Let’s empower our daughters to be different, to be accepting, to be inclusive, to be role models, to be strong.
I am a strong girl because I have a strong mother who is teaching me how.