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When Family Traditions Become Uncool: How to Create New Fall Traditions Your Teens Might Actually Like

by Nancy Reynolds November 21, 2017
4.5K

I’m sappy when it comes to traditions. There’s something about the idea of repeating the same customs with my family year in and year out that gives me a sense of comfort and belonging. 

I love knowing that the traditions my husband and I are carrying over from our parents and the new ones we’ve created for our family will withstand the test of time and be passed down from generation to generation. It makes me feel as though we’re part of something much bigger…as though we’re making history every time we enjoy one of our many traditions.

And, even though my kids never really talk about it, I can see it in their eyes. Having those traditions to look forward to gives them a sense of home, comfort, and belonging, too.

The truth is, I’ve created so many traditions for my family throughout the years that I’ve actually lost count. It started when our kids were very young and somehow, with each passing year, I kept racking up a few more. Some are bigger traditions like our annual summer trip to the beach, while others are a little silly like buying each of my kids an ornament for Christmas every year so when they move out and get a place of their own they’ll have an ornament that signifies an important milestone for every year of their childhood.

Some of my favorite traditions kick-off around Thanksgiving. It’s a time that always seems to bring my family closer together. With the kids off of school without the added pressure of deadlines or homework, it gives us all a chance to step back, relax and live in the moment which is something we sometimes find hard to do. 

I’ve noticed, though, that as much as I try to keep our traditions going strong, some have fallen by the wayside. Not because they weren’t special or important, and not because we didn’t hold those traditions dear, but because my kids outgrew them.

I thought about putting my foot down and forcing my kids to carve a pumpkin simply because it’s been a tradition in our family for years, but it doesn’t make a lot of sense pushing them to do something they’re just not feeling anymore.

Now that my kids are teenagers I’ve come to the realization that traditions don’t have to be static. They can evolve and be redefined as life changes. 

And even though it’s been hard letting go of some of the time-honored traditions I’ve come to love, we’re having a ton of fun sparking new traditions as a family.  Plus, now that my kids are older, we can do other things as a family that were much harder when my kids were young.

If you’re in the same boat as I am struggling to find new fall traditions as your kids get older, here are a few ideas to add a new spark to your family fall traditions:

Have a Family “Dinner and a Movie” Night

A perfect way to bond and teach your kids how to cook at the same time is to plan a dinner and a movie night.  Choose a dinner recipe that everyone agrees on and give everyone a job to do to help prepare the meal. When it’s ready, pile the pillows on the floor, pop in a movie, relax and have a casual dinner. (Just to spice things up a bit, my husband often throws a towel fight into the mix while we’re cooking dinner).

Plan an Annual Road Trip

Vacations don’t have to be expensive. It’s about spending time with your family doing anything that gets you away from the norm of life, and there’s always an adventure to be found somewhere. Whether it’s a day trip, a three-day short get-a-way, or a week-long escape to the beach or mountains, taking time to break free and enjoy time together as a family gives everyone the much-needed time to relax and it offers everyone a chance to talk without the barrage of life’s many distractions.

Family Game Night (not your typical board game)

There’s nothing that gets my family laughing more than a game of Poker. Games have a way of de-stressing everyone and it forces everyone to put their phones away… at least for a little while. If your teen doesn’t show interest or fights you on the idea, just toss in pizza and a few of their favorite snacks as a bribe (it always works for me)!  If you’re stumbling for ideas, here are a few games your kids might love: Teen Games

Run a Marathon Together

As they say, a family that runs together stays together AND has fun!  Physical activity like running is such a great way to teach your kids healthy habits, allows everyone to enjoy the great outdoors and gives you a chance to bond with your kids as you work together training for the big day.

Volunteer Together as Family

Most families, mine included, tend to get caught up in the endless list of things that need to be done day in and day out.  Taking a moment to be selfless and spending time as a family giving to those in need is both rewarding and helps your kids (no matter how old they are) better appreciate what they have.

Plan an Annual Hiking Trip

When my kids were young, we didn’t hike very often.  The few times we tried it ended up in disaster with one of my kids falling and skinning their knee while another one was whining that they were too tired to take another step. Now that they’re older we’ve finally taken it up again – a tradition I started a few years ago when I asked my kids to go hiking with me on Mother’s Day.  I let the kids and my husband choose the trail (something I can actually manage without gasping for air on the way up), while I plack the snacks water.

Plan a Star Gazing Night

My youngest daughter loves her pick-up truck and my son loves astronomy. Somehow the blend of those two created a stargazing night for our family.  We pack the back of the truck with a bunch of blankets, hot cocoa, and a few snacks, park the truck in an open field where we can see the night sky and we relax and talk while my son educates us about the planets and stars with his stargazing app.

Have a Gaming Night

As parents, we’re always complaining about how much time our kids spend on their phones, on their computers or gaming. Rather than telling your kids to stop gaming, why not game with them for an evening?  Not only is it a perfect way for you to get an inside glimpse into why your child is so obsessed with gaming, but it’s also a great way to do something together that your teen might actually enjoy.

Go Camping

Break out the tent, the sleeping bags, the snacks and the hot cocoa and head to your favorite camping spot for a night of songs, ghost stories and s’mores. Fall is a great time to enjoy the crisp night air and star gaze among the trees. Plus, if you’re really clever, you can pick a spot with poor reception so you can have your kids’ undivided attention. 

Head to a Festival, Museum, Play or Exhibit.

Every weekend there are always things to do, but oftentimes we’re so wrapped up in catching up on chores that we don’t take the time to spend time with our family.  Plan an afternoon visiting a museum you’ve never been to, head to a festival, enjoy a play or check out a new exhibit on display.  Do something you’ve never done before and add a little spark to your weekend and your relationship with your kids.

Reminisce with a Family Video Night

I’m not sure what it is, but I’ve never met a teenager who doesn’t love seeing themselves as a baby. In fact, we’ve often had a houseful of teens over for pizza and somehow we all ended up watching old family movies.  These are some of my favorite nights… I love seeing my kids laugh about how they acted when they were little, how I dressed them or (my least favorite part) how young my husband and I looked when we were young parents.  It always opens the door to a ton of conversation, reminiscing and laughs.

Looking back on all the traditions we’ve had as a family, I’ve realized that they tell a story about our family.  Each one sparks different emotions and so many memories.  What I love about traditions is that they don’t have to be fancy, expensive or too much work, just simple pleasures your family enjoys that come from the heart.

From my home to yours, wishing you all a very Happy Thanksgiving! May your home be filled with the blessed spirit of the season, laughter and happiness as you make memories with everyone you hold dear in your heart.

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