Valentine’s Day Hits Hard When You’re a Teen Who Wishes They Weren’t Single

6 Things you can do to make the day special even if you don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend

by Nancy Reynolds

This post: Valentine’s Day Hits Hard When You’re a Teen Who Wishes They Weren’t Single

My daughter walked in the door after school, tossed her backpack on the floor, plopped herself down at the kitchen counter, and sighed so heavily you could have heard it if you were in another state…

“What’s wrong??” I said.

“OMG, Mom. I just hate Valentine’s Day. The school is doing this Valentine’s Day fundraiser where you can pay $1 to buy a red or pink paper heart, write a  message on it, and have it delivered to your boyfriend or girlfriend in class sometime on Valentine’s Day. You can also pay $5 for a long-stemmed rose and have that delivered, too. Ugh!! The whole thing is SO annoying!”

“Hmmm,” I said. “And, I’m guessing you’re feeling a little left out because you don’t have a boyfriend?” 

“YESSSS!” she said. “It’s agonizing! You’re sitting in class and they walk in and deliver all these hearts and roses to nearly every girl BUT you. It’s embarrassing and makes me feel like crap. I don’t know what’s worse, not getting a heart or a rose OR walking around all day empty-handed knowing everyone is noticing that I didn’t get a heart or rose. I wish I had a boyfriend…”

Valentine’s Day Hits Hard When You’re a Teen Who Wishes They Weren’t Single


Little does my daughter know that my high school used to have the same fundraiser on Valentine’s Day and I hated it just as much as she does.

I used to beg my mom to stay home that day just to avoid feeling like the most undesirable girl in school who wasn’t cute enough or popular enough to receive even ONE stinking paper heart. (There were actually TONS of girls who didn’t get a heart or rose…)

It’s easy to toss aside my daughter’s feelings knowing full well that one day someone will come along and sweep her off her feet, win her heart, and fill her life with love and romance. But for now, I get how she’s feeling and honestly, it sucks. 

A little hindsight really does go a long way, though. There are lots of things I could have done to make the most of the day without wallowing in my “singleness.” After all, one day she will be part of a “couple.” This is her time to embrace and enjoy her “single” time!

So, teens, if you happen to be running solo this Valentine’s Day, please, please don’t let it get you down. Instead, make the most of the day!

Here are a few things you can do to refocus on your energy and enjoy taking part in the day dedicated to love!

Valentine’s Day: 6 Things You Can Do to Make the Day Special Even if You Don’t Have a Boyfriend or Girlfriend

#1 First, Repeat After Me “I Don’t Need a Boyfriend or Girlfriend to Celebrate Valentine’s Day”

Seriously, (and I can’t stress this enough), it doesn’t matter if you’re happily single, desperately wish you had a boyfriend or girlfriend, getting over a breakup, or trying to navigate a “situationship” that you wish would turn into a romantic relationship, there’s nothing wrong or weird about not having a boyfriend or girlfriend on Valentine’s Day.

Deep in your heart, I know you know that love will one day find its way into your life, and when it does it will be amazing. For now, just embrace your singleness (trust me, lots of people wish they could be footloose and fancy-free). 

#2 Celebrate the Love You DO Have in Your Life

You’re loved so much – by your parents, your brothers and sisters, your grandparents, and your friends. And, you love a ton of people in your life. Celebrate all those amazing relationships – the people in your life who are there for you, who love you and support you.

Buy your mom a pot of flowers for Valentine’s Day and tell her how you appreciate her. Wrap your arms around your Dad and thank him for the sacrifices he’s made for you.

Write your best friend a letter telling them how much they mean to you. Take your little brother or sister out for ice cream. Send a note to your favorite teacher – the one who always tells you that you can when you’re convinced you can’t. You get the idea… focus on the love that surrounds you. 

#3 Treat Yourself to a Little  “Self-Love” Pampering

You’re on the go A LOT. Why not slow down on Valentine’s Day and treat yourself to a heaping spoonful of self-love? Take a long, hot shower or bath, slip into your coziest jammies, and settle in for a movie night complete with your favorite snacks.  Or,  cozy up in your room and catch up on that book you’ve been meaning to read. Or, how ’bout you buy all the ingredients needed and try your hand at a cool new recipe? 

Stop worrying about the fact that you’re single on Valentine’s Day and instead just focus on loving yourself. There’s a lot to love about you and you deserve all the TLC you can give yourself!

#4 Plan a Fun Night Out with All Your Single Friends

I’m SURE you’re not the only one who’s flying solo this Valentine’s Day.

So… why not gather all your single friends and have a fun night out? Go to the movies, a concert, out to dinner (make a reservation or you likely won’t get in), or any other outing that the group decides on. 

OR, host a Galentine Party at your house and celebrate your friendships with fancy mocktails, a fabulous V-Day charcuterie board, and fun games you can play together.

#5 Buy Yourself Flowers (or Something Special That Will Make You Feel Special)

Who says you can’t buy yourself a big bouquet of flowers? You’re worth it and deserve to be treated special. If flowers aren’t your thing, buy yourself something else that’ll give you that little hit of “feel-good dopamine” – a new sweater, a new piece of jewelry, a new video game. Give yourself something to look forward to. 

#6 Make Valentine’s Day a Phone-Free Day

Unless you want to see pictures of all your couple friends having a romantic night out, make Valentine’s Day a phone-free day.  Scrolling through all those pics clogging up your feed isn’t going to make you feel happy or confident. So, just steer clear!

Valentine’s Day isn’t JUST for couples… it’s a day to express and receive love.

So try not to get too wrapped up in the fact that you don’t have a date. Just relish in the NOW and know that your time will come. One day, soon enough, the love of your life is going to enter your life and when that happens it will be amazing and wonderful and magical. Until then, love yourself and everyone who matters around you. 


If you enjoyed reading, “Valentine’s Day Hits Hard When You’re a Teen Who Wishes They Weren’t Single,” you might also enjoy reading these posts!

25 DIY Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas Teens Will Love

12 Sweet Ways to Surprise Your Teen this Valentine’s Day

32 (Not Too Expensive) Valentine’s Day Gifts for Teens

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