This post: To The Mom Whose Heart is Heavy for Her Child, You Are Not Alone

Written by: Carol Moore

To the mom whose heart is heavy for her child today…

The one whose thoughts are distracted by what she can’t seem to fix. The one who feels afraid or ashamed to share her worries with anyone – you are not alone. We are all that mom, at times, no matter the age of our kid. No matter how good things appear on the outside. We have one child who is weighing heavy on our heart today. You are not alone.

To The Mom Whose Heart is Heavy for Her Child, You Are Not Alone

At some time or another, one of our kids will rock our boat in a way that we could never have prepared for. Maybe your child (or one of your kids) has rocked your boat since birth, or maybe something has shifted with them along the way. But one thing is for sure – not one of us is immune to this turbulence.

I could speak at length about things that I have heard, observed, and experienced that have put moms into this place of solitary ache for their children. The themes are similar and they seep into every generation.

You might know the ache as you’re reading this – the ache in your heart for your own child. This helpless and heavy weight that we carry is much like the way a shepherd carries the burden of his lost sheep. He would do anything to bring them back safely into the flock, to see them thrive, and to know they will be okay. 

So, why are we tempted to just share the highlight reels about our kids? Why do guilt and shame taint our story when one of our kids is doing or experiencing something that worries us – when they are about to take or have already taken a wrong turn?

Do we think we will be judged for our kid’s struggles or imperfections by other moms or parents? When every single one of us will have a heavy heart for one of our kids at some point in time, why aren’t we coming together, sharing our experiences, learning from one another, and holding each other up with acceptance and grace?

If we have a child struggling with anxiety, depression, disengagement, or big emotions at home – when we feel helpless to ease their distress, we push it down and smile for our friends. When they can’t keep up with the demands of school or they don’t make the team, we avoid the subject with other moms. If our child is willful, has a disability, is causing self-harm, is addicted, or won’t speak to us, we hold back our tears, straighten our shoulders, and walk alone.

We quietly conceal the truth from each other that we are all experiencing in varying degrees – our heavy hearts.

But this mom assignment was never meant to be easy, nor to be taken alone. This struggle is real as we pour out our hearts for these young souls of the next generation. We sacrifice our bodies, careers, interests, hobbies, and many of our needs for our children who completely captivate our lives. It’s a weary walk with far more obstacles than tools.

What if we could concede to the notion that we are each other’s most effective and efficient tool? Moms walking alongside other moms creates a fortitude like no other. When moms can sit beside one another in their worry, fear, and in their hopelessness knowing they will not be judged, then this sometimes seemingly impossible assignment receives the promise of hope.

We are all passing through these seasons with our kids – figuring things out as we go along. As we pass through these seasons filled with moments of grace and moments of turmoil, let’s reach our hand back to the mom just entering into the teen years with her kids, the mom who needs advice, the mom who needs a shoulder to lean on, the mom who just needs to vent.

Let’s share our stories of the hope and the mess and how we got through them all to give another mom the courage and the endurance to keep going. 

To the Mom whose heart is heavy for her kid today – you are not alone. You are a member of the most populated club in the universe. This assignment isn’t easy, and it was never intended to be.

Our hearts will be heavy over and over again. We will laugh and love and cry and ache for our kids. They will wander and return. When their hearts break, ours will break bigger. When they get lost on their journey, we will never find peace until they are found.

There is simply no way around this heaviness we will feel for our kids, but there is a way to go through it, and I believe this is with each other. 

Our beautiful stories, social media posts, and highlight reels about our kids are great – let’s keep sharing all of this with each other. We need to see the things that are going well. We need to see the successes and the joys and the light that shines from our kids.

But let’s be careful not to keep the troublesome parts to ourselves. We all need to see and know that no matter how good things appear on the outside, there will still be deep struggles and rough patches that we all have to crawl through. No more shame. No more guilt, please. You are not alone.

About Carol Moore:

Carol is a certified Coach, Parenting Teens Advocate, and author of Bridges Not Barriers – The Art of Building a Better Connection with Your Teen. She is also a designated Global Presence Ambassador for Parenting 2.0, a non-profit organization recognized around the globe for the Life Skills educational process. With 15 years of experience working with young children and their families, and having raised two teens of her own, she has a passion for sharing her knowledge in raising teens with grace, compassion, honesty, and trust. Follow Carol on Instagram and check out her book here: BRIDGES Not BARRIERS: The Art of Building a Better Connection with Your Teen

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