This Post: 6 Things a Mama’s Heart Feels When Her Teen Starts Driving
Nothing really prepares you for that pivotal parenting moment when your teen (the same teen who can’t seem to get their laundry in the hamper and forgets to turn in their homework) gets behind the wheel of a 3,000-pound metal box and drives away while you stand in the driveway with your heart pounding thinking to yourself, “Please, please, just remember which pedal is the break.”
Every ding notification on your phone makes your heart skip a beat, only to find out they’ve stopped at Starbucks to grab a frappé or they’re running through Chick-fil-A for nuggets. Meanwhile, you’re at home pacing the floor, waiting patiently until you hear their car pulling into the driveway and you can finally breathe again.
The truth is, even if your son or daughter IS responsible and you’ve done your absolute best to prepare them before they take the wheel, it’s not just their lack of experience that freaks you out, it’s all the other drivers driving alongside your baby that sends your worry into overdrive.
For every Mom who has a teen preparing to drive, (or who has a newly minted driver), you might be slightly comforted to know that all those emotions swirling around in your head are universal. Here are 6 things a mama’s heart feels when her teen starts driving. (Or… most mamas, anyway.)
6 Things a Mama’s Heart Feels When Her Teen Starts Driving
1. Pride (With a Side of Panic)
Seeing your teenager behind the wheel can be such a proud moment – that is, until the panic sets in. You can’t help but be proud that they’ve reached this major milestone in their life – after all, it’s been a long time coming and they’ve worked hard to get here.
But the idea of them being “out there” alone, without you, without constant guidance, and without a second set of eyes to see things they don’t see sets your heart and mind into sheer panic mode. It’s a mix of “Aww… my baby is growing up!” and “OMG! I don’t think they’re ready for this!”
2. Worry… and MORE Worry
When my oldest daughter started driving (the first new driver always seems to hit you the hardest), worry became my constant companion. I found myself imagining every worst-case scenario: what if someone runs a red light, what if she speeds (even though I lectured her about this for hours), what if she gets into an accident? What if she piles a bunch of friends in the car and gets distracted? What if? What if?? What if??? I mean, I trusted her… but I still worried.
My mind played through every conceivable possibility over and over. (I really did try to stop myself.) And, let’s not even talk about how my brain conjured up ridiculous scenarios when she wasn’t home by curfew. It was all very exhausting!
3. Letting Go (Ahem… But Not Really)
You know in your heart that this is a crucial step toward their independence, but it’s hard to let go, isn’t it parents? My daughter has been driving for a while now and I STILL track her location, (not to be creepy and hound her, but just to make sure she’s safe). I still send her regular “Be careful driving home!” texts and I still count down the minutes until she arrives home safely. Sure, we’re giving our kids more freedom, but we’re secretly holding them so tight – perhaps tighter than we ever have.
4. A Sense of Freedom (With a Heaping Dose of Mixed Emotions)
Finally! We don’t have to cart them (and all their friends) to school, every practice, game, party, and late-night snack run. We’re off the hook! And, it’s liberating! Now we can ask them to pick up food on the way home or run through Starbucks for us.
But all that newfound freedom in our lives comes with a bittersweet realization – they’re growing up fast. Too fast. Watching them gain more confidence behind the wheel, “Mom… don’t worry, I promise I’ll be safe!” and in their lives is both rewarding and exciting, but heartbreaking at the same time – yet another reminder that we’re not needed quite as much as we once were.
5. Trust, Hope and LOTS of Prayers
We’ve spent years teaching them to be responsible, guiding them to make good decisions, and lecturing them about the perils that exist on the roads. Now it’s time to trust and hope that they remember everything we’ve drilled into them – like checking their mirrors regularly, using their turn signals, not checking their phone or texting, and mostly, coming home to us safely.
Still, they are teenagers and their brains aren’t fully cooked… we all know they’re capable of making mistakes and making poor decisions. Add their lack of driving experience to our fears and that’s where our praying comes in. So much is out of our control and that’s why we quietly whisper to ourselves every time they leave the house, “God... please bring my baby home safe.”
6. A Sense of Sadness
Who would have ever thought we’d say this but… we miss it. We might not miss the constant chaos of getting up at the crack of dawn to get them to a game across town or staying up until midnight (completely exhausted) to pick them up (and all their friends) from a party 30 minutes away, but we miss THEM.
We miss our chats. We miss how the floodgates opened and they shared what was in their hearts when we were together in the car. We miss how close we felt to them – even if they did have their earbuds in. We miss that special, quality time while we were teaching them to drive and now we’re wondering how we can ever replace that precious time with them.
It’s been a few years since my oldest daughter started driving and I’m here to tell you the worry never ends and I still miss (and always will) that precious time shared on our car rides together.
But what’s replacing that sense of loss is such an immense pride to see my girl growing up, to see her finding her way, being responsible, and learning how to navigate the roads AND life on her own.
It’s not easy when our teens take to the road, but it’s one of the many wonderful milestones in their lives that we get to witness. And, having that front-road seat on their journey to adulthood is a precious precious gift.
If you enjoyed reading, “6 Things a Mama’s Heart Feels When Her Teen Starts Driving,” here are a few other posts you might like!
Life-Saving Driving Tips Every Teen Should Know (Some Might Surprise You)
8 Potentially Deadly Driving Distractions Your Teen Needs to Avoid