This post: 55 telltale signs you’re living with a teenager
Seemingly overnight, the vibe in the house changes…
The minute your kids become teenagers (and, sometimes even before they hit the magic age of 13), your typically “smooth sailing” life gets turned upside down.
Massive hormonal shifts, the wafting smell of Axe Body Spray and cheap perfume, constant runs to the grocery store just to keep up with your teen’s consumption of food and their once tidy bedroom is now disastrous and on the edge of being declared a biohazard — all signs that you’re officially living with a teenager.
Life with teenagers is messy and unpredictable, exhausting and perplexing, but it’s also humorous and crazy, entertaining and rewarding. Our best bet is to take it all in stride, find the humor in everyday life (or, at least try) and remind ourselves often that “this too shall pass.”
Here are 55 telltale signs you’re living with a teenager.
1. You’ve come to the conclusion that you’re definitely not smarter than a fifth-grader and you’ve given up on helping them with their homework.
2. They’ll complain that there’s “nothing to eat,” and that there’s never any food in the refrigerator – even after you’ve spent your entire life savings on groceries.
3. They’ll sleep until noon, moan all day about how tired they are, and then stay up half the night texting their friends, scrolling through Instagram and watching 42 YouTube videos.
4. You’re totally done nagging them about their messy bedroom, (which is on verge of becoming biohazard), so you just close their bedroom door and go about your day.
5. You’ve come to the realization that if you put five hampers in their bedroom, they’d manage to throw their clothes where there wasn’t one.
6. They stay up way later than you do and now you’re asking them to tuck you in at night.
7. They act like they don’t need you until they want a ride, a backrub or money (or a grilled cheese sandwich).
8. Their friends are way more important to them than you are (or, at least it seems that way).
9. Suddenly, your child shows a witty and savvy sense of humor you never know existed. (Where did that come from?)
10. You thought you knew what stress was until they drove off in the car by themselves.
11. They can eat a four-course meal and be hungry 20 minutes later.
12. You spend the better part of your life driving them and all their friends to Timbuktu… and back.
13. Some of your best conversations happen when you’re in the car staring straight ahead at the road.
14. You wish you could back to the days when nap times, sippy cups and playdates stressed you out.
15. You have free in-house tech support (who also happens to be totally clueless about how to load the dishwasher).
16. You worry – about everything – far more than you ever thought you would.
17. You’ll call them ten times and they won’t answer, but when they call you and you don’t pick up they get downright salty.
18. They’re actually pleasant to be around unless, of course, they’re hormonal, tired, hungry or stressed out.
19. Their feet look disproportionally bigger than the rest of their body and you have to buy them new shoes (and, all new clothes) every three months.
20. Your house always smells like Axe Body Spray and cheap perfume. (Cough, cough… gag.)
21. You’re spending a small fortune on braces and they never wear (or can’t find) their retainer.
22. When it comes to investigating what your teen is up to you do better research than an FBI agent. (Mama always knows.)
23. You worry about how much time they spend in their bedroom… alone… with the door closed.
24. The thought of them leaving for college makes you sappy and teary-eyed.
25. Every once in a while you catch a glimpse of the toddler in them and your heart melts.
26. You’re always asking yourself, “Where the hell are all my freaking spoons?”
27. They spend way more time looking at their phone than they do at you.
28. Your daughter changes clothes faster than a Vegas showgirl.
29. Your son can wear the same sweatshirt four days in a row and not give it a second thought.
30. You know the days with them under your roof are fleeting and it breaks your heart.
31. You’re worried you’re not preparing them well enough for the “real world.”
32. They take 30-minute showers and then forget to put deodorant on.
33. When they tell you they “cleaned their room,” it really means they just shoved all their stuff in less obvious places like in their closet and under the bed.
34. Their entire vocabulary consists of eight words: “nah, “I dunno,” “whatever,” and “there’s nothing to eat.”
35. They suddenly become very complicated creatures. One moment they act like they hate you, the next they’re asking you to make them a grilled cheese sandwich.
36. They’ll slam a few doors, roll their eyes and utter a few heavy sighs, but deep down inside you know it’s their way of readying their wings to fly.
37. Some days hard, but you wouldn’t trade having a front-row seat on their journey to adulthood for anything in the world.
38. They steal your charger ALL the time and deny it.
39. They’ll refuse to wear a coat in 38-degree weather because they’re “too cool.”
40. You’ll buy industrial-size bottles of deodorant and they still won’t use it.
41. You desperately need a break from parenting, yet you dread the day they won’t need you anymore.
42. Nothing brings you more peace than knowing they’re safe and sound in their own bed right down the hall.
43. You’ve figured out that when they say, “I’ll be ready in 5 minutes,” it really means they won’t be ready for at least 30 minutes.
44. You’ll watch them go on their first date, attend their first dance and hear through the grapevine about their first kiss and you’ll silently shed a tear knowing your baby is growing up.
45. They won’t talk to you all day and then suddenly become chatty at 10:30 at night when you’re exhausted. (But, you’ll stay up and listen because you don’t want to miss connecting with them on their terms.)
46. Now more than ever, you’ll feel the need to measure up in their eyes and set a good example knowing they’re watching everything you do.
47. They’ll be brutally (and I mean brutally) honest about everything from your cooking to what you wear, but they’ll also be your most ardent supporter.
48. They’ll tease their siblings, but if anyone else messes with them, they’ll kick their ass.
49. You’ll try to keep up with their slang, the newest apps and the coolest shows on Netflix, but you’ll fail miserably.
50. You’ll start to see glimmers of the person they’re becoming and you’ll realize you must be doing something right.
51. Their bedroom is their sanctuary and no matter how messy it gets, they like it just the way it is.
52. When they’re hurting your heart will feel every bit of their pain.
53. They’ll bring you to the brink of insanity and then melt your heart in 42 seconds flat.
54. Between your child’s 13th and 19th birthday, you’ll consume more Ibuprofen than you thought humanly possible.
55. You’ll look at your amazing child and realize that somewhere along the way they became your very best friend.