This post: 10 interesting traits of teenagers who seem effortlessly cool.
Ask any teenager what they think makes someone “cool,” and they’ll likely toss out an entire laundry list of coveted attributes of the coolest kids they know.
They drive a cool car. They wear the hippest and trendiest clothes. They have great hair. They’re totally fit and have rock-solid abs. They get invited to a lot of parties. They have a ton of social media followers… and so on.
It’s true. All those things could make someone pretty cool in a teenager’s eyes.
But cool goes a bit deeper than that.
It can be tough to identify what “cool” really is – especially considering everyone has a completely different opinion of what cool is. And, there’s no doubt that cool comes in all shapes and sizes.
Still, there are a few solid attributes of people who seem to wear “cool” a little more effortlessly than others.
Interestingly – despite what our kids may think – It turns out being cool doesn’t have a whole lot to do with the clothes you wear, what kind of car you drive or how many followers you have on social media.
Cool is who you are on the inside. It’s how you make others feel. And, it’s what you do… especially when no one is watching.
Here are 10 interesting traits of teenagers who seem effortlessly cool
#1 They’re Not Afraid to Be Themselves
While some teenagers are relentlessly following the Kardashians and other celebrities fighting tooth and nail to be like them, talk like them and dress like them, cool kids don’t feel the need to mirror anyone else. They may not wear the latest name brand clothing or drive the coolest car on the block, and they may, in fact, still be trying to figure out exactly who they are, but they’re true to themselves. And, even though they’re muddling through the awkwardness of their teen years, they own it like a boss and pretty much like themselves (albeit, maybe with a little tweaking), just the way they are.
#2 They’re Always Trying to Prove Something… To Themselves
Cool kids are often fairly competitive – but not with anyone else – just with themselves. They’re willing to try new things, they understand that failure comes with the territory and, when they do succeed at something, it brings them a ton of satisfaction – not because they get praise from others, (cool teenagers never brag), but because it makes them feel good about themselves.
#3 They Do Nice Things for People… Because They Can
When a cool teenager stays after school to help a teacher, helps a friend who’s struggling with their math homework or stays up until 2 a.m. consoling a friend whose boyfriend just broke up with her, they don’t do it for a pat on the back or because they expect something in return.
They do it because they’re genuinely nice and they genuinely care. Face it, most of our kids are pretty nice kids – especially when they’re expected to be. Cool teenagers are nice even when it’s not expected. Not because they have to be. Because they can.
#4 They View Everyone as Their Equal
You know that kid who always sits alone at the back of the bus or the one who sits by themselves in the lunchroom? Cool teenagers reach out to them. They sit with them, eat with them, talk to them and get to know them when no one else will. They don’t care about the hierarchy of popularity in their school. They care far more about being a decent, kind, compassionate human being who sits the lonely, stands up to the bullies, and reaches out to those who could use a friend.
#5 They Don’t Take Themselves Too Seriously
My daughter once told me about a classmate who was terrified of getting up in front of his 9th-grade class to make a presentation. Instead of trying desperately to hide his fear (which, frankly, is what most of our kids would likely do), he got up and laughed at himself saying, “Get your cameras ready. I’m going to royally screw this up because I’m so nervous, but, oh well.”
Everyone in the class loved it and thought he was so cool for fessing up to his fears and having the courage to laugh at himself. Bottom line, cool teenagers don’t put up a front. They’re willing to risk putting their emotions on the line even if it means having others view them as less than perfect.
#6 They Steer Clear of Gossip
Nearly every teenager gossips at times. In fact, we all do. But, the really cool teenagers know the danger of gossip and they’re smart enough to steer clear. Oh, they may listen and take it all in, but gossip to the cool kids is just sheer entertainment. They don’t take it seriously, they definitely don’t believe everything they hear and they fill their time with more important things than rumors and hearsay.
#7 They Inspire Others
Without even realizing it or putting a ton of effort into it, cool teenagers have a way of inspiring others just by being themselves. Their confidence, their steadfast values, willingness to see good in others, their desire to include everyone (regardless of whether they’re a geek, a popular kid, a jock, theater kid or anyone else), and their easygoing attitude that somehow makes everyone feel comfortable, inspires others to muster the courage to be themselves as well.
#8 They Spread Positive Vibes
You can feel their vibe when they enter a room. The happy-go-lucky cool kid who somehow manages to push through their crummy days like a champ and still spread positive vibes is someone everyone wants to be around. They take life in stride, they find the positives in the negatives and they have an uncanny way of lifting up others without even realizing it. When they pass classmates in the hall they smile – not a fake smile – but a genuine smile that says, “I see you, I hear you, I like you.”
#9 They Have a Sense of Humor
Armed with an inherent quality that makes others feel more comfortable and relaxed, cool kids use their sense of humor as a “social radar” to connect with others. Their friendly, cavalier jokes and lightheartedness make life seem a little less stressful for everyone around them, which makes others gravitate to them and want to spend time with them.
#10 They Don’t Think They’re Cool
One of the most interesting traits of teenagers who seem effortlessly cool (and, also one of the most defining), is that cool kids don’t think they’re cool.
While everyone else is using social media as a tool to make themselves (and their lives) seem glamorous and larger than life, the cool kids humbly sit on the sidelines and observe. Cool kids know that cool doesn’t come with credentials.
While some people possess a natural charisma that draws others to them, no one is really born effortlessly cool. It’s a choice. If our kids truly want to be cool, they need to take a hard look at themselves and decide what kind of person they want to be…
Maybe the coolest people are the ones who don’t care about being cool.” (Steve Carell)