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Confessions of a (Not So) Remorseful Halloween Candy Addict

by Nancy Reynolds October 30, 2017
2.5K

I bought seven big bags of Halloween candy. Yup… seven! I don’t need seven… in fact, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t give away seven bags of candy to trick-or-treaters in the next three years. So, you’re asking, why on earth did I buy so many bags?  Well, several reasons actually.  For starters, I love candy! Not just any candy, mind you… I love Halloween candy.

My name is Nancy and I’m a Halloween candy addict.

Did you know that this year alone more than 2.7 billion dollars will be spent on Halloween candy? And, if you’re anything like me you’ll be chomping on your fair share when you join the 72% of parents out there who plan on raiding their kids’ Halloween stash.

Come on! Fess up! You love Halloween candy just as much as I do! When your kids are in school, in bed for the night or they’ve turned their back for just a split second you’ll be diving into their stash for a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, a Twizzler, a Snickers or, one of my favorites, a box (or two, or three… ok, maybe four) of Lemon Heads.

That’s why, after years of fighting my own desperate temptations, I’ve decided to buy my very own secret stash of Halloween candy. I figure this way I don’t have to rummage through my kids’ stash and sift through all the candy everyone seems to hate like Good & Plenty, Mary Janes and Tootsie Rolls. Really?  It’s like the neighbors don’t even know me!

I suppose if you twist my arm I might offer up a few pieces to trick-or-treaters who’ll be ringing my front doorbell on Tuesday evening, but for the most part, I’ll be keeping most of it well-hidden in my secret hiding place and, here’s why:

I Can Resist Almost Anything… Except Temptation

I’ve already admitted it, I’m a self-professed Halloween candy addict. But, there’s more… my problem stems from deep-rooted childhood memories. You see, when I was a kid I absolutely loved Halloween.  I have so many fond memories as a child romping through my neighborhood on Halloween with all my friends and each of those memories are in some way tied to… you guessed it, candy! Each piece of candy I eat brings back a memory.  It’s true!  So, asking me to not eat Halloween candy is like asking me to whisk away all my fond childhood memories.  I’m sorry, I’m just not that strong enough…

I Need It WAY More Than My Kids Do

When was the last time you really indulged yourself? For me, it’s been awhile. First of all, I have to define the word indulge, but I assume they’re talking about doing something nice for yourself, in which case I’d have to say last Tuesday when I bought myself a Pumpkin Spice Latte’ at Starbucks (another one of my weaknesses).  A whole $5 bucks… I deserve WAY more than that don’t you think?  Anyway, aside from the fact that I deserve to indulge a little, candy is a proven “de-stressor” and who needs de-stressing more than parents of teenagers?

I Bought It, They Can Buy Their Own

In past years I’ve always had to plead the fifth about how much of my kids’ Halloween candy I actually ate. As soon as I knew they were asleep I’d tiptoe over to their stash and start rummaging through looking for my favorites. I was always careful not to take too many of one type of candy so they wouldn’t catch on. In the end, I didn’t feel too guilty though… in fact, I figured I was saving my kids from future cavities. (They had no appreciation of my efforts at the time, but I figured they’d thank me later.)  This year, though, I’m done sneaking around. I’ve finally reached the age where I’m going to embrace and accept my weaknesses.  It’s time to come out of the shadows. Anyway… I bought the candy. They can buy their own.

Chocolate and Wine – It CAN Be Done!

Some say it can’t be done, but if you know what you’re doing and you carefully pair the right wine with the right chocolate it’s a match made in heaven! Two of the greatest things in existence combined happens to also be the absolute best cure-all for anything that might be bugging you.  Are your kids driving you nuts? Reach for the wine (wine first… always the wine first), and then the chocolate.  With enough wine and chocolate, absolutely nothing your kids do or say will bother you. I promise!

So, this Halloween when your kids walk in the door with a pillowcase filled to the brim with candy, join me and dive in!  You deserve it!  Oh, I know it’s packed with sugar and calories, so what!?  Let’s worry about all that later. This Halloween, indulge a little… or, maybe a lot!

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