This Post: 15 Non-Negotiable Safety Rules Parents Should Teach Their Teens

Written By: Nancy Reynolds

One of the hardest parts of parenting teenagers is accepting the harsh reality that we can’t always be there to protect them.

We’re no longer walking them into school, holding their hand when they cross the street, or so heavily involved in their lives that we know every person they interact with. Instead, they’re driving with friends, going to football games on Friday nights, hanging out at people’s houses we may not know, and making decisions every single day without us standing nearby to guide them. 

As parents, that’s both exciting and terrifying, isn’t it? Of course, we’re raising them to be independent, but when they start showing signs of independence, it’s enough to make us lose sleep at night, because nothing matters more to us than their safety and well-being. 

15 Non-Negotiable Safety Rules Parents Should Teach Their Teens

The truth is, our goal isn’t to raise teenagers who never make mistakes. It’s to raise teens who can learn to make safe and sound decisions–particularly when life doesn’t go according to plan.

Because no matter how responsible or mature our kids are, every teenager will eventually find themselves in an unexpected, uncomfortable, or even dangerous situation. It might be when a good friend who’s been drinking insists they’re “okay to drive” and your teen has to face the decision of getting in their car or finding another ride home. Or when a party they’re at suddenly gets a little too rowdy or out of control. Or when someone they don’t know well makes them feel uncomfortable. Or maybe when their phone is about to die, and they’re running low on gas. 

Those moments aren’t the time to start teaching safety; they’re when we hope the conversations we’ve already had come rushing back to them.

Over the years, our family developed a handful of safety rules that aren’t about control; they’re more about protecting my kids. More importantly, they’re not “fear-based,” but more about staying alert and being prepared if/when life goes sideways. 

Here are a few of the conversations I’ve had with my kids through the years… conversations I feel every parent should have with their teen.

1. You Can Call Me Anytime (No Questions Asked)

If you’re scared, uncomfortable, stranded, or you’ve made a poor decision, call me.

I don’t care where you are, what time it is, or whether you’ve broken a rule; I want you to know I’m always here for you and you can always count on me. We can talk about what happened later. First, we’re getting you home safely.

2. Never (Ever) Get in a Car with Someone Who’s Been Drinking or Using Drugs

“Dude… I’m fiiiine. I only had a couple of beers. Hop in!” or “Geez, what are you so worried about? We’re only driving a couple of streets over… it’ll be fine!” 

This is an absolute NON-NEGOTIABLE.

Not your best friend. Not your boyfriend or girlfriend. Not your teammate. Not even if they insist they’re “fine.” I know you might think, “What are the chances that something will happen?” But this is not a chance you ever want to take. Instead, call me, call your dad, call a friend, call an Uber.

Just don’t get in the car.

3. Trust Your Instincts

If you question the driver, don’t get in the car.

If a situation makes you uncomfortable, leave. 

If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. 

Even if everyone is doing it, you don’t have to follow. Your instincts are there to protect you. Listen. Remember, too, you never owe anyone an explanation.

4. Keep Your Phone Charged

A charged phone can be the difference between getting help and being stranded. Before you leave the house, make charging your phone as automatic as grabbing the keys to the car. It’s also smart to keep a portable charger in your car, just in case. 

And, if your phone’s battery is running low and you don’t have access to a portable charger, treat your phone like a safety device, not an entertainment device. Turn on low-power mode, stop using unnecessary apps, and send me a quick text with your location and exactly where you’re headed, so I know. If your phone dies, don’t hesitate to borrow someone else’s phone (or go into a store or restaurant) to call or text me. 

5. Tell Me When the Plans Change

If you’re going to a different house, riding with someone else, or ending up somewhere new, send a quick text. (You know I worry!)

I’m not trying to keep tabs on you. I just need to know where to start if I ever have to come looking for you.

6. Share Your Location With Me

Not because I don’t trust you. And not because I want to monitor your every move.

I simply rest easier knowing I can find you if I ever need to. Emergencies don’t come with a warning, and in those moments, knowing your location can save precious time. Besides, you can track me, too. It goes both ways.

7. Need an “Out?” Blame Me

“My Mom is freaking out… I need to head home now.”

“My Dad said I have to help him with something, I can’t go.”

“My Mom said I have to stay home and clean my room. Sorry… maybe another time.”

“My dad is expecting me.”

Need a way out? Need to say “no” but don’t know what to say? In an uncomfortable situation, and you want to leave? 

BLAME ME. 

If blaming me helps you get out of a bad situation, use me every single time.

8. Always Wear Your Seatbelt

Every ride.

Every seat.

Every time.

Most crashes happen close to home, not on long road trips. Don’t take the risk!

9. Use The Buddy System

A long time ago, a police officer told me, “Tell your kids to use the buddy system… there’s safety in numbers.”

I’ve never forgotten that advice.

Please don’t put yourself in situations where you’re alone if you don’t have to be. Stay with your friends, check in on one another, and make sure everyone gets home safely. 

10. Learn When to Call 911

If you’re ever in doubt about whether you should call 911, MAKE THE CALL. It’s not “overreacting” if your safety or someone else’s safety is at risk. If you do call, you’ll need to know your location/address, explain what the situation is (as calmly as possible), and be prepared to answer questions. 

11. Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept a Secret

I know you worry about breaking someone’s trust, but protecting someone is always more important than protecting a secret.

Just remember, if a friend tells you they’re thinking about hurting themselves (or anyone else), if they’re being bullied, abused, pressured to do something dangerous they don’t want to do, or that friend’s (or anyone else’s) safety is at risk, please tell an adult you trust–whether that’s me, your dad, a school counselor, therapist, teacher or someone else you trust. 

Carrying that information is an awfully heavy burden for you to carry alone.

This goes for YOU too! If you’re ever struggling, in a tight spot, worried about a decision or mistake you made, or you feel alone. I’m HERE. I’ll always be right HERE.

12. Always Pay Attention to Your Surroundings

I know, it can be second nature to glance down at your phone, pop in your earbuds, or get distracted talking on the phone when you’re out and about. But one of the simplest ways to protect yourself is to stay aware of what’s happening around you. (In fact, most predators are looking for “opportunities.” When your head is down and you’re consumed with what you’re doing on your phone, it makes you an easy target.)

So, whether you’re walking through a parking lot, leaving a football game, attending a concert, or stepping into a place you’ve never been before, keep your head up and pay attention.

Take a quick look around. Notice who’s nearby and where the exits are. If something (or someone) doesn’t feel right, trust that feeling and leave. You don’t have to worry about being rude or overreacting. It’s always better to be safe than sorry.

13. Have a Family Code Word and a Family “Text Code”

Make sure your family has one “code word” and one family “text code.” That way, if someone ever has to pick up your teen unexpectedly, they’ll know the person is “legit” IF they know the family code word. Also, the family text code — even if it’s something simple like an ice cream emoji — is a signal your teen can send you if they’re ever in an uncomfortable situation and need your help getting out of it. Just send mom or dad the text code and, no questions asked (at least at that time), and they’re on their way. 

It’s a simple way to give both you AND your teen peace of mind. 

14. If Something Happens Online, TELL ME

You spend a lot of time online scrolling and surfing. Chances are, you’re going to wander onto sites, chat rooms, or even engage in conversations with people you don’t know well. The internet is a dangerous place. Predators prey on young teens, and people aren’t always who they appear to be. 

That’s why it’s SO important for you to know that if EVER anyone is threatening you, bribing you, pressuring you, asking inappropriate questions (which includes asking you to send them inappropriate images), or you find out someone isn’t who you thought they were, TELL ME. 

Nothing and I mean nothing that happens online will make me love you less, and anything that happens we can figure out together. Never be scared, worried, or embarrassed to come to me. I love you no matter what, and I’ll always protect you. 

15. Your Safety and Well-Being Matter More Than Anything

This may be the most important rule of all.

I hope you make wise decisions. I hope you remember everything we’ve talked about. But if you don’t… If you’ve made a mistake, if you’re scared, if you’re embarrassed, I want you to know you can STILL come to me. I can’t promise there won’t be consequences to your actions–there might be. But everything I do comes from a place of love. 

The Bottom Line

As parents, we can’t bubble-wrap our teenagers from every danger they’ll face. But we can prepare them.

We can have these important conversations long before they need them and remind our kids over and over again that our rules aren’t meant to limit their freedom—they’re meant to protect the incredible future that’s waiting for them.

At the end of the day, don’t adopt these safety rules because you expect your teen to make bad choices. Adopt them because good kids sometimes find themselves in difficult situations.

If you enjoyed reading “15 Non-Negotiable Safety Rules Parents Should Teach Their Teens,” here are a few other posts you might like!

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