This post: Signs you’re parenting your teen right
The beauty of raising our kids is that there really isn’t a “right” or “wrong” way to parent them.
What works for one parent and child may not work for the other. And, we all know that no two kids are alike. Even siblings raised under the same roof by the same parents can be totally different and require completely different parenting strategies based on their genetic coding.
Still, there are a few telltale signs that you’re on the right track with your kids (even if you question yourself or think you’re totally messing up).
So, before you start pouncing on yourself – convinced you’re doing it all wrong, read through our 9 signs that you’re parenting your teen right. Chances are, you’re getting far more right than you realize!
9 Signs You’re Parenting Your Teen Right – Even if You Question Yourself
#1 You Set a Good Example for Your Kids
It’s not always easy, but you know that your kids are always watching and you aim to set a good example. You’re not perfect, (who is), but you place a high priority on everything from your behavior, lifestyle, and values to how you manage stress, money management, and optimism.
You give yourself the freedom to fail, and in turn, give your kids the same freedom knowing full well that those mistakes offer opportunities for personal growth. In your quest to raise your kids, you know that the most powerful way to help your kids isn’t in the clothes you buy them or the fancy vacations you take them on, but rather in the simple, everyday things you say and do.
#2 You View Your Parenting Journey as a Marathon, Not a Sprint
You’re under no illusion. You recognize the fact that your child isn’t perfect, that you’re not perfect, that your child is a work in progress, and that raising kids to be decent, honorable, compassionate human beings takes years.
Sure, your kids might slip up now and then, but you realize those bumps in the road are normal (and, in some cases necessary) and you chalk it up to one big learning curve. You view your parenting journey as a marathon (not a sprint) and understand that your job as a parent can’t be fully measured in moments, days, or even months, but rather in the slow and steady progress that’s evident in your kids throughout their youth and young adult years.
#3 You Encourage Your Kids to Pursue Their Own Interests and Passions
As much as you’d love for your son to take up golf like his dad or for your daughter to have a passion for art like you did when you were her age, you realize that your kids are not an extension of you. They are their own person with their own interests, passions, and dreams.
As a parent, your goal isn’t to live vicariously through your children or to have your kids follow in your footsteps, but to encourage them to become the best version of themselves and do everything in your power to help them realize their own dreams.
#4 Your Kids Come to You with Their Problems
Chances are, your kids don’t tell you everything (there are probably things you’d rather not know anyway), but you’ve fostered open communication with your kids and they know they can come to you with their problems.
They value your advice, look to you for guidance, and, know they can count on you to listen without overreacting (well… most of the time anyway).
#5 You View Your Relationship with Your Kids as a Partnership, Not a Dictatorship
You know that transforming your teenager into a responsible adult is the most challenging job you will ever face, which is exactly why you share the responsibility with your teen. You’ve vowed to put a halt to the dictatorship and battles and instead focus on building a harmonious, respectful, honest relationship with your child.
The “Your house, your rules” mantra still applies on occasion when the chips are down, but you recognize the importance of being on the same team as your child to reach a common goal – to raise an honest, hardworking, capable adult so they can manage in this world on their own.
#6 You View Quality Family Time as a Priority
You respect your kid’s growing need for autonomy and “friend time,” but you also recognize that quality time together as a family is paramount to your teen’s development and well-being. Whether it’s dinner with the family, a Sunday afternoon hike, or a family movie night, you put a high priority on family time and teaching your kids the value and importance of nurturing family connections.
#7 You Don’t Freak Out When Your Kids Are Upset with You
You’re as sweet and loving as they come, but when the chips are down you’ll do whatever it takes (well, almost anything) to keep your child on the right path. You’re not afraid of putting boundaries in place, sticking with them like glue, and fighting the battle when your child pushes back.
You keep your eye on the ball, you remain steadfast in your principles and you’re fully aware that parenting is not a popularity contest. Bottom line, you know parenting teens is hard as heck and you know there will be times your teen won’t like you, but you deal with it and consider it par for the course.
#8 Your Kids Know They’re Loved
You have a million things going on every single day. But, the one thing you aim to accomplish (beyond working, cleaning, cooking, and an endless to-do list), is to make sure your kids know they are valued and loved.
You have faith in them and their abilities and you’re quick to remind them by offering plenty of warm hugs, freely saying “I love you” (even when they act like they don’t care), giving enthusiastic high fives when they’ve accomplished a goal and looking for small ways to remind them how proud you are of them.
#9 You’re Trying Your Best
Even though there may be days you slip up, mess up, or go on strike (let’s face it, self-care is essential to being a good parent), you take your job as a parent seriously and you’re in it for the long haul. You know that your ability to remain constant in your kids’ lives, to love them unconditionally (even when they’re not very loveable), set a good example, and be the rock they need in their lives is the greatest gift you can give your kids.
Sure, every once in a while you’re thrown a parenting curveball and you feel rather clueless, (don’t we all?), but when you get a glimpse of the amazing person your teen is becoming, you’re reminded (with a little tear in your eye) that you must be doing something remarkably right.
Other posts you might enjoy reading!
12 Things Parents Do To Push Their Away
6 Battles We Need To Let Our Teens Win
What Teenagers Really Need From Their Parents
15 Tough Truths Every Teen Needs To Hear