This Post: Your Teen’s Summer Sleep Schedule: Why They’re Basically a Vampire Now

Written By:  Nancy Reynolds

Once upon a time, you lovingly kissed your kid on the forehead, tucked them into bed at 8:30, and tiptoed out of the bedroom while they drifted off into blissful slumber until morning…

But now?

Your teenager hangs out in the bedroom and emerges from their cave at 1 a.m. like a nocturnal gremlin rummaging through the pantry, making themselves a snack, and leaving the kitchen a mess like a pack of hungry raccoons ransacked it. 

Well, parents… welcome to summer, where any illusion of a “sleep schedule” for (most) teens evaporates faster than a popsicle in the sun. 

Your Teen’s Summer Sleep Schedule: Why They’re Basically a Vampire Now

So, Why Are Teens Basically Vampires Now?

Heads up… It’s not laziness or rebellion, although they will still roll their eyes and accuse you of being overly dramatic, at times. There is actually a scientific reason behind this night owl transformation. 

When our kids hit puberty, their circadian rhythm shifts. The hormone, Melatonin, which helps them feel sleepy, starts being released much later in the evening, oftentimes, not until 11 p.m. or much later. Which means, when you’re crawling into bed exhausted after a long day, your teen’s energy is in high gear.

And, no, your 16-year-old son isn’t just scrolling through Instagram or playing video games until 2 a.m. because they’re irresponsible (that is, IF you let them have their cell phones in their room at night) – it’s mainly because their brains are wired differently now. In essence, their nocturnal behavior is one they simply can’t help. 

Add in summer break (with no early alarms or need to race out the door to catch the bus) and you’ve got a kid on your hands who follows the sleep schedule of a vampire – a very hungry, very moody vampire who leaves dirty bowls in the sink and a mound of crumbs on the counter. 

Why “Fixing It” Might Not Work (and Why That’s Okay)

If you’re like most parents of teens, you’ve likely tried to “fix” your teen’s sleep habits: Maybe you’ve:

• Pleaded with them to go to bed earlier
• Threatened to take their phone away if they don’t hit the sack earlier
• Set up fancy alarms that they somehow always manage to sleep through
• Googled: “Why has my teen suddenly turned nocturnal?”

But here’s the truth: forcing an earlier bedtime when their bodies are fighting it every step of the way can lead to worse sleep, frustration, anxiety, and a heaping dose of resentment toward you for urging them to do something they simply aren’t capable of doing.

For us, it would be like trying to fall asleep at 7 p.m. on a random Wednesday – our brain just won’t let us do it. And, guess what? This is all VERY normal and, thank goodness, temporary for our kids. 

Embracing the Vampire Hours (Just a Little, Anyway)

This doesn’t mean we should allow our teens to do anything they want and play video games ’til the wee hours of morning while chomping on Cheetos. What it does mean is that we have to shift our expectations. (Remember, this IS temporary… sometimes, as parents, we have to learn to go with the flow.)

Mainly, if your teen is thriving – if they’re getting enough sleep (striving for 8 hours a night), getting up on time for the part-time summer job, eating healthy meals, hanging out with friends, has a social life and is NOT turning into a full-blown bat, it’s okay to lean into their adjusted sleep schedule – at least during the summer when the schedule is a bit more relaxed than the school year. 

Plus, this can be a surprisingly sweet and wonderful time to bond with your teen! Sure, you might have to adjust your definition of “family time,” and stay up a little later to partake in those late-night chats (which are wonderful, by the way!), but the summertime can be a great time to connect with your teen when life is a bit slower and less stressful for them. 

Midnight is the New Heart-to-Heart Hour

Some of the absolute best conversations I’ve had with my three kids happened late at night when the rest of the world was asleep. Sure, I needed toothpicks to keep my eyes open, but hanging out with them when they suddenly became chatty and open and honest and funny was precious. I mean… dang! Those late-night chats were the reminder I needed that they actually liked me and wanted me in their life, considering they kind of ignored me most of the day. 

You see, parents, this is your teen’s time. The world is quiet. Their phones aren’t buzzing or dinging. They’re not preoccupied with being somewhere or rushing out the door. And, somehow, in that half-lit kitchen, something wonderful happens – they talk. And, it’s truly magical. 

So go ahead. Plop down on the kitchen stool. Have a snack with your teen. Ask a tender question. Or just listen. You won’t regret it…

Tips for Surviving Your Teen’s Summer Vampire Schedule

If you’re somewhere between “I’m gonna cut my teen a little slumber slack this summer” and “I can’t stand it, I need them to be on a better sleep schedule,” here are a few summer survival tips:

1. Focus On Your Teen’s TOTAL Sleep, Not Their Bedtime

Teenagers need 8-10 hours of sleep. If your teen is hitting that (even if they are on a 2 a.m. – noon schedule), it’s okay. Just remember, though, don’t expect your teen to wake up at 10 a.m. after having gone to bed at 2 a.m. and be alert. You’ll have one grumpy teen on your hands!

2. Create a “No Screen Time” an Hour (or Two) Before Sleep

If your teen typically crawls into bed around midnight, have a rule that their phone moves to the kitchen at 10 or 11 p.m. Yes, they’ll probably fight you, but avoiding that blue light on their screen can help their brain wind down so they can fall asleep. (Essentially, your goal is to remove any obstacles from their bedroom that could prevent them from falling asleep.)

3. Maintain Some Structure

One of the best ways to help your teen maintain a decent sleep schedule during the summer is to encourage them to have some structure in their life. Whether they hold down a part-time summer job where they have to go in early twice a week, they have a summer internship, or perhaps they volunteer in the morning once or twice a week, it will keep their bodies on a rhythm of having to go to bed a little earlier to manage the early wake-up time the next morning. 

4. Let Natural Consequences Teach

If they happen to stay up ’til 3 a.m. and then sleep through a fun family beach day, so be it. Lesson learned. 

5. Shift Family Activities/Expectations to Later in the Day

Want your teen to clean their room? Don’t expect them to do it in the morning. Want them to go with you on a family outing? Shift it to a slightly later start. 

Remember: This Too Shall Pass (But Probably Not Until Fall)

Yes, your teen’s summer sleep schedule can make it feel like you’re living in opposite worlds (you woke up 5 hours ago, and your teen is still asleep), but this is also a fleeting stage.

Eventually, a hectic school schedule, practices and games, and blaring alarms will require your vampire to rejoin the land of the living. Until then, stock up on snacks, practice your late-night listening skills, and remember: even if their body clock is upside down, they still need you. Especially during those midnight snack chats!

If you enjoyed reading “Your Teen’s Summer Sleep Schedule: Why They’re Basically a Vampire Now,” here are a few other posts you might like!

Is Your Teen a Night Owl? Why it’s Wreaking Havoc in their Life and How to Help Them Get More Zzzzs

My Teen’s Cell Phone is a Privilege, Not a Right: 7 Simple Rules I’m Implementing in My Home

Is Your Teen Addicted to Their Phone? Strategies to Help Them Break Free