This Post: Talk to Your Teen: 3 Things They Might Not Realize is Illegal
Written By: Jessica Manning
When I began my career as a school counselor more than twenty years ago, there were certain conversations with teens that didn’t seem as necessary as they are now.
It’s not that the issues at hand weren’t happening; they were just far less prevalent, and the consequences for them were not nearly as severe as they are today.
Years ago a teenager might be able to get away with doing or saying things that today’s teens never could. The world our children are exposed to is far different than when we were growing up. As such, school administrators and parents need to educate teens about breaking laws that could potentially negatively affect them in a profound and lasting way.
Talk to Your Teen: 3 Things They Might Not Realize Are Illegal
Here are three topics every parent should proactively discuss with their teens.
Don’t assume your teen already knows or that they will never need to know this information. Make sure they fully understand the legal ramifications that can and will accompany certain choices that they may not even realize are illegal.
1. ANY Threats of Violence Toward a School
Since the shooting at Columbine High School in 1999, more than 338,000 students in the U.S. have experienced gun violence at school. As a result, every school across the country has adopted a “no tolerance” policy when it comes to threats of violence against its school and students.
While years ago, a student might get a phone call home or a temporary suspension for threatening violence, if a student today even jokingly implies (either in person at school or via social media) that they’re going to harm someone, bring a weapon onto school property or “shoot up the school,” they could (depending on the situation), be arrested and charged with Threats of Terrorism or Harassment, amongst other possible charges. There is no such thing as a simple slap on the wrist if a student makes even idle threats. And, there’s no such thing as a flippant comment or threat.
Please talk to your teen(s) about the seriousness of making any kind of statement that could be construed as threatening to another student or the school. Even if they’re joking or saying it in a fleeting moment of anger and/or frustration, the situation can and will escalate quickly and have a profound and negative impact on their lives.
2. Not Abiding By Legal Consent Laws
As a high school counselor, I see it all the time – upperclassmen dating underclassmen. And, while there’s nothing legally wrong with dating someone older or younger when you’re a teenager, if the relationship becomes intimate (i.e. sexual), teenagers need to understand the laws.
Laws regarding the age of consent vary by state, but most states regard 18 as the age when someone is considered legal to consent to sex. This means that an 18-year-old could be charged with statutory rape if they engage in sexual relations with a minor, even if that minor claims the sex was consensual. Someone can also be charged with statutory rape even if the minor chooses not to press charges and/or if the parents are okay with the relationship.
What most teenagers do not understand is that there is a difference between verbal consent and legal consent. Individuals under the age of legal consent cannot legally consent to sex because of their age.
If your teenager is dating someone older or younger, make sure they (and you) know the state laws. If your teen is in a relationship and having sexual relations with someone younger, and things go south, he or she could find themselves in a precarious legal situation where they are accused of and possibly charged with statutory rape.
For more information, read: An Overview of “Age of Consent” Law
3. Possession of Child Pornography
I don’t believe I will ever be desensitized to the idea of teenagers asking for and sending nude pictures to each other, even though it is an issue I’ve dealt with time and time again as a high school counselor.
I’ve had students willingly share pictures while in a relationship, only to regret it later after a break-up. I’ve had students cave in to pressure from a boyfriend or girlfriend to send them a picture only to have the picture later shared with friends. I’ve had students uninvolved in asking someone for a picture, but who got sent a picture anyway.
Each time a situation like this came to the attention of school administrators at my school, parents were contacted. Interestingly, the parents were always completely shocked. No one thinks their teen is going to be in a situation related to child pornography, but it happens frequently.
According to Section 2256 of Title 18, United States Code, child pornography is defined as a visual depiction of sexually explicit conduct involving a minor (someone under 18 years of age). Visual depictions include photographs, videos, digital or computer-generated images indistinguishable from an actual minor, and images created, adapted, or modified, but appear to depict an identifiable, actual minor. Undeveloped film, undeveloped videotape, and electronically stored data that can be converted into a visual image of child pornography are also deemed illegal visual depictions under federal law.
According to GuardChild.com, 20 percent of teens report having sent nude or semi-nude photos and videos of themselves, with 11 percent of girls ages 13-16 sharing this type of material. (My guess is it’s much higher than this statistic.) An even larger percentage of teens – 39 percent – have sent suggestive text messages, emails, or instant messages (IMs). According to Roanoak Criminal Attorneys, sending or receiving a sexually suggestive message, image, or video of someone who is under the age of 18 can be considered child pornography.
Unfortunately, many teens are desensitized to the idea of taking and sending nude pictures. If the morality of this being inappropriate does not resonate with your teen, my hope is that the legal ramifications will.
Of course, it’s important to note that none of these situations are ever black and white. There will always be exceptions, caveats, and variables in every circumstance that could affect the outcome for a teen.
Thus, it’s important to know that if your 18-year-old teen asked for or forwarded nude images of a minor or if they had sex with a minor they won’t necessarily be charged. Again, variables will always come into play and the law differs by state. However, NONE of these situations are worth risking their reputation or their future.
Please, parents, educate your teen(s) about the laws that could affect them and their friends, so they can avoid the potentially damaging and life-altering consequences.
About Jessica Manning
Jessica is a high school counselor with over 20 years of experience working with teenagers. She earned an M.A. in school counseling and a B.A. in English and secondary education. Jessica is married to a high school principal and has three teenage boys; her current life revolves around all things teen. When not working or following her sons’ sporting events, Jessica appreciates any opportunity she gets to veg at home with her family and her dog, Phyllis.
If you enjoyed reading, “Talk to Your Teen: 3 Things They Might Not Realize Are Illegal,” here are a few other posts you might enjoy!
Dear Teens, If You Want Your Parents to Trust You, Here Are 10 Things You Should Do
8 Major Parenting Pitfalls You NEED to Avoid to Raise Strong, Independent Adults