This Post: My Daughter, I Will Always Have Your Back
Written By: Nancy Reynolds
Not too long ago, there was a day when my middle daughter (then a junior in high school) needed me more than she realized. She was having a tough week – one where everything seemed to be going wrong and she felt the world was against her. A close friend let her down, she received an unfair grade on an assignment and the pressure of being a teenager weighed too heavily on her shoulders.
My Dear Daughter, I Will Always Have Your Back
That evening, I slipped into her bedroom to check on her and found her scrolling through her phone. She seemed fine, but I knew better. (Moms just know, don’t they?)
After sitting in silence with her for a while I noticed a single tear streaming down her cheek. And, that’s when she put her phone down, looked at me, and said, “Mom, no matter how hard I try, I feel like it’s never enough.”
With her eyes filled with tears and defeat in her heart, I saw not just my daughter who was on the cusp of becoming a woman, but my little girl who used to reach for my hand when the world felt too big. In those days, she knew she could come to me to make everything better and I knew she was hoping for the same now.
The truth is, I couldn’t offer the perfect words or the perfect solution, but I had my love, and I knew that would have to be enough.
As I wrapped my arms around my precious girl, I told her, “I’m here, babe… always and forever. No matter what happens. I know life isn’t always easy. In fact, sometimes, it’s agonizingly difficult. And although I may not be able to fix your problems, you can count on me to be here when you need someone to listen, someone to vent to, or cry with or laugh with, I’ll be here. I’ll always always have your back.”
That night changed how I viewed my role as a mom. You see, parents, it’s not about having all the answers, having the perfect solution to our kids’ problems, or fixing things that may go wrong in their lives. It’s about being there, being their safe place to seek shelter when life is hard, and being the steadfast anchor in their lives to keep them steady and stable when they lose their footing.
I realized at that moment that no matter how independent, grown-up, or capable my daughter becomes, she will always need me to cheer for her when she’s winning, to catch her when she falls, and to remind her that she has it within when she’s convinced she can’t.
Just knowing she has me in her corner can strengthen my daughter and give her resolve to get through life… and, that’s why I’ll always have her back. So, to my daughter, here’s my message to you, I’ll be there…
1. When Life is Changing or Challenging
Life is full of changes, sweetheart – big and small. Whether you’re dealing with friendship changes, applying to colleges, or striving to figure out who you are, life can feel overwhelming and unsettling, at times. But know this… you’ll always have me by your side. Through it all, I never want you to feel alone. I’ll be there to offer support, guidance (maybe even when you’re not asking for it), and a steadfast presence in your life. I’ll be your sounding board, your advocate, your voice of reason, and your biggest cheerleader. No matter how unfamiliar or hard a situation might be, I’ll always be with you to face it together.
2. When You Fumble or Fall
You’re going to mess up. You’re going to make poor choices, have regrets, and have failed attempts. Your life won’t always go according to plan. It’s all part of life.
And even though I know you’ll come through those challenges on your own, I want you to know that you’ll always have me to lean on during those hard times reminding you (over and over again) that those stumbles and mistakes will never define you or your future. They are all merely opportunities to learn and grow. When you face what you deem as your worst moments, you’ll never have to go it alone.
3. Through Every Dream, Goal and Ambition
You know that dream you have of one day working for the FBI? You know that aspiration you have of learning how to bake the best chocolate cookies ever? No matter how big or small your goals, dreams, and ambitions are, I’ll help you get there.
Maybe not by doing things for you or paving your path, but by cheering loudly from the sidelines, reminding you that you CAN, and supporting you when those dreams feel too far out of reach. You see, hon, you have such resilience and the amazing ability to be and do anything you choose in this life. I’ve known it all along. Now I only hope and pray that I can convince you to recognize it as well.
4. When You Doubt Yourself
Everyone doubts themselves at times. But when you’re young and trying to figure out what life holds for you, it’s easy to question your every decision. But life is about the journey, not the destination. It’s about choosing the path that’s right for you at the right time in your life. And, it’s okay not to know, to pause, to take detours, to turn around. Nothing is set in stone. I’m here to remind you of that.
When you question your worth, struggle with your self-image, or feel unsure about your direction in life or your future, I’ll be here to shout from the mountaintops that you really ARE capable, that you are beautiful inside and out, and that you have an inner strength and uniqueness that I’ve admired for such a long time. When your inner critic is loud, my support and love will be that much louder.
5. When You Need My Unconditional Love, Validation and Acceptance
One of the greatest gifts I can offer you as your mom is my unconditional love, validation, and acceptance. When you mess up, make a poor decision, feel unsure about your next step, or feel misunderstood or judged, I want you to know that you’ll always find a safe haven with me.
Oh, hon, just come to me… with your problems, worries, fears, apprehensions, and secrets. I promise they won’t be met with rejection, judgment, or criticism. My love for you will never be based on what you did or didn’t do, your achievements or trophies, or your ability to make the “right” choices. You’ll simply be loved because you’re my daughter... and that will never change.
6. Through Your Entire Journey in Life… You Can Count on Me
My promise to you is this, sweetheart… you will never have to question my love for you. I’ll always be just a phone call away. Until I take my last breath on this earth, I’ll forever love you, cherish you, support you, and be the steady in your life. You are my world and I’ll forever stand beside you… I pray you never forget that.
1 comment
Yes, this is so important for our children to know that we are in their corner, no matter what. Especially girls who tend to get trapped in bad relationships more easily.