This Post: I’m Sick of Teens Getting a Bad Rap: 8 Reasons Why They Deserve More Credit
Written By: Anonymous Mom of Teens
Teenagers so often get a bad rap…
I was standing among a group of moms at my son’s high school the other day and listened in as one mom started to let loose on her teen.
“I don’t know how this year is going to go… my son is SO lazy and unmotivated. All he cares about is gaming.”
(And then, the floodgates opened with other moms chiming in.)
“Oh, I know! And, it’s not just my daughter’s lack of motivation. She won’t listen to me about anything! She’s moody, difficult, and snarky. College can’t come quick enough in my house.” (As she chuckled.)
“I worry my kid will even graduate high school. He used to be smart… I don’t know what happened.” (Again… laughing.)
I’m Sick of Teens Getting a Bad Rap: 8 Reasons Why They Deserve More Credit
Listen, I’m all for venting to close friends or family when we’re struggling with our teens. We’ve all been there, right? But these moms didn’t know one another well. They were saying awful things about their teens – things I’m sure would strike straight to the core of their child’s heart if they knew.
Don’t they realize how hard their kid is trying?
Don’t they know the pressures they’re up against?
Don’t they understand what their brains and bodies are going through and that the fluctuating hormones they’re dealing with keep them totally off balance?
And, don’t they “get” that their kids lack of executive functioning skills they’re complaining their kids don’t have come with time and our guidance and teaching?
I have three kids and they’ve all struggled at times. They’ve all made me question my parenting. They’ve all thrown me for a loop and made me want to pull my hair out. They’re teenagers… all of it comes with the territory. They’re not supposed to act like adults, have it all figured out, know how to juggle multiple tasks without skipping a beat or know every single right from wrong.
As a mom, my heart aches when I hear teens getting a bad rap. I want to scream from the mountaintops that these kids have SO MUCH YET TO LEARN!
Here are 8 Reasons We Don’t Give Teens Enough Credit:
1. They Really ARE Trying
We need to cut our teens a little slack. They truly ARE the most misunderstood creatures on the planet! They’re dealing with a mountain of changes going on in their bodies, they’re learning how to act like an adult, (when they really just want to be a kid) and the expectations we place on them are often far too heavy for them to carry.
Oh, and the pressure! So much pressure! To be a good student, a strong athlete, a good son or daughter (who God forbid, never talks back), a social kid with friends, and who has the motivation to create the perfect college resume so they can get into a “good college” (and make their parents proud). It can all feel like too much for a teenager.
2. They’re a Work in Progress
Not only are they a work in progress, but they have a long long way to go on their journey to adulthood.
They won’t figure out who they are until they’re well into their 20s or beyond. They won’t understand the value of hard work, the importance of integrity, the art of communication (minus the heavy sighs, eye rolls, and slamming doors), how to control their emotions, or why they should appreciate all you’ve done for them for years to come.
They’re learning. Who your teen is today isn’t who they’ll be six months from now, a year from now, or three years from now. Take a deep breath, trust the process, and watch the magic happen! They’re going to surprise you one day, I promise!
3. They’re Brilliant in So Many Ways
My son can program the remote, de-bug my computer, and build a rocket, but he’s clueless how to load the dishwasher. My daughter is creative, a whiz at social media, and gifted when it comes to fashion, but she can’t keep her bedroom clean if her life depended on it.
They may not have all the skills we hoped they have by their age, but they’re brilliant in so many other ways! Focus on all the good, parents – your kids’ strengths and gifts and talents and wonderfulness. The rest will come in time!
4. They’re Hilarious (When They Want to Be)
For years, my house has been the hangout house for my kids and their friends. (I love it!) Having all those kids at my house has given me a glimpse into their wonderful personalities and mostly, their humor. Teenagers, given the space to be themselves, are hilarious.
Whether they’re chatting about school, their teachers (oh… they can mimic a teacher better than anyone), or just sharing their perspective on the latest political spurs (plenty to talk about there), they’re witty, goofy, and insightful. And, the more you laugh, the more they love it!
5. They Can Teach Us SO Much (If We Let Them)
Ask your teen to teach you something and watch their eyes light up! They LOVE teaching us! (It levels the playing field and makes them feel empowered.)
“Hey, I’m clueless about how to fix this issue on my phone, can you help me?”
“I’m not sure these shoes go with this outfit… is this in fashion or does it look dated?”
(Sure, they might groan a bit when you ask, but don’t let that fool you… they love being “the teacher” for a change!)
But that’s not all they’re teaching us… they’re teaching us to embrace change, to be adaptable, and to be more inclusive. Contrary to the stereotype of being self-centered, every teen I know has a remarkable level of empathy and compassion. So many have a desire to make the world a kinder place – a testament to their emotional intelligence. They’re not just aware of issues the world is facing; they genuinely want to help and see positive change.
6. Their Energy and Adventurous Spirit are Contagious
One of the most amazing things about teenagers is their passion, energy, and enthusiasm. Whether they’re passionate about a sport they love, music, a cool game on their computer, or thrifting for name-brand finds, you just gotta love how they throw themselves into their interests with a level of excitement and dedication that’s inspiring to witness.
They’re constantly learning and growing. They’re eager to try new things, explore new ideas, and take on challenges that most adults shy away from because they’re too set in their ways. My kids’ willingness to dive into the unknown keeps me young and adventurous right alongside them and that I love!
7. They Keep You Young
Oh, there will be days you’ll think you’re aging in dog years, but for the most part, having teens under your roof keeps you young.
For starters, you’re always on the go – whether you’re making your fifth trip to the grocery store for food (‘cuz there’s never anything good to eat) or you’re carting them (and all their friends) to school, practice, games, and parties, you’re never allowed to sit for very long.
Plus, you won’t have a choice but to at least try to keep pace with the latest slang, trends, and TikTok challenges. I know it’s tiring, but one day we’re gonna miss this, parents.
8. One Day, They Become Your Very Best Friend
We spend the better part of their childhood parenting them, but one day, we’ll wake up and realize the child we raised has become our friend, our confidante, our love, our legacy. Somehow, they raised us, too… teaching us just as much (if not more) than we taught them. It’s one of the greatest gifts of motherhood and fatherhood.
I get so tired of teens getting a bad rap. The reality is that they’re amazing individuals with so much to offer.
Rather than focusing on the challenges of raising teenagers, let’s recognize and celebrate all the positive qualities they bring to the table. Let’s focus on the good!
If you enjoyed reading, “I’m Sick of Teens Getting a Bad Rap: 8 Reasons Why They Deserve More Credit,” check out these other posts!
6 Lessons Our Teens Teach Us About Life, Love, and Ourselves
Parents, are you tired of teens getting a bad rap? Share your thoughts in the comments section below!