Hey Teens, Here’s 35 Funny Things to Write in a Mother’s Day Card

A little sweet and silly sarcasm to brighten mom's day...

by Nancy Reynolds

This post: 35 Funny Things to Write in a Mother’s Day Card

I don’t know about your kids, but my kids are always (playfully) poking fun at me. And, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit, I LOVE it!

They’ve been hanging with me long enough to know ALL my weaknesses, quirks, and “Momisms,” if you will, and trust me, they’re not shy about teasing me a bit and bringing them to light. 

That’s why nearly every Mother’s Day they come up with a few funny, silly, and sometimes, super sarcastic things to put in my Mother’s Day card. (Don’t get me wrong, they always toss in plenty of sweetness and sappiness, too!) It always makes for a really good laugh (and plenty of bonding) knowing my kids know me THAT well. 

Here are a few silly, sweet, and slightly sarcastic sentiments my kids have put in my Mother’s Day cards in years past along with a few others I’m sure they’ll add to their list soon.

So, hey teens, if you’re reading this, here are 35 funny things to write in a Mother’s Day card.

Hey Teens, Here’s 35 Funny Things to Write in a Mother’s Day Card


1.  Mom? Mom?? Mommmm??? Mom! Moooommm!? Hey, MOM!!! Happy Mother’s Day!

2. Dear Mom, thanks for giving me life. Oh, and thanks for not taking it back in my teen years.

3. I love all your texts, Mom, even though they do have way too much punctuation.

4. I love ya, Mom. By the way, you were right about almost freaking everything.

5. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. Love, your favorite child.

6. Dear Mom, I’m sorry you had to have 3 children to finally get it right. Love your youngest (and favorite) child. 

7. Happy Mother’s Day to my best friend, my greatest teacher, and my cheapest therapist.

8. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. Thanks for teaching me how to fold a fitted sheet. (Just one more useless thing you taught me that I’ll never do.)

9. Hey, at least you don’t have ugly kids. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.

10. Thank you for teaching me SO much, Mom. By the way, can you repeat it? I wasn’t listening.

11. I know it cost you a fortune to raise me, but just think how much money I saved you because you didn’t have a social life.

12. You should be really proud, Mom. I turned out awesome!

13. Mom, I love you loads and loads. (By the way, can you do my laundry?)

14. This card is good for one free “I will clean my bedroom when you ask,” pass. (Just so you know, I’ll probably shove everything under my bed.)

15. Things I love about you, Mom… your unsolicited advice, your weird random texts, and the way you freak out when I toss my clothes one foot from the hamper. 

16. Happy Mother’s Day. Happy Mother’s Day. Happy Mother’s Day. (I’m just letting you know how annoying it is when someone constantly repeats themselves.) Happy Mother’s Day. Happy Mother’s Day. 

17. Dear Mom, can we agree I am 100% your favorite child? (Come, on. Admit it…)

18. Happy Mother’s Day. (By the way, can you reimburse me for this card? I’m broke.)

19. Dear Mom, You’re the BEST Mom I ever had.

20. Thanks for helping me with my homework. Now I know you’re definitely not smarter than a fifth grader.

21. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. Sorry I make you drink.

22. In honor of Mother’s Day I just want you to know that I changed the toilet paper roll. You’re welcome.

23. Happy Mother’s Day. You might have failed miserably with (brother/sister), but at least you got it right with me! Well done!

24. Mom, you know I would do ANYTHING for you this Mother’s Day. Except clean my room. (Please don’t make me do that.)

25. You did everything for me, Mom. You cooked, cleaned, drove me everywhere, put up with me, and lost years of sleep over me. I figure this $5 card means we’re squared up, right?

26. You’re not like all the other moms… you’re a cool mom. (Except when you wear your ugly mom jeans.)

27. Thanks for letting me invite all my friends over and eating you out of house and home. You’re the BEST.

28. Mom, I know I’m not perfect, but hey, at least I turned out better than (brother/sister).

29. In honor of Mother’s Day, I’m going to make you my signature specialty dinner. I hope you like Ramen Noodles.

30. Thank you for putting up with my moody, ungrateful, sassy years. Whew! You made it!

31. So yeah… I just wanted to wish you a Happy Mother’s Day from your child who has no idea what to write in your Mother’s Day card. (I love ya, Mom.)

32. You really ARE awesome, Mom. Except when you freak out when I wake you up to tell you I’m home. (That scares the sh#t out of me.)

33. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. Thanks for being nice to me and stocking the fridge with all my favorite foods. (By the way, here’s my grocery list.)

34. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. In honor of your special day, I’m returning all your forks, spoons, bowls, and cups from my bedroom. (I wanted to get you something I KNEW you’d use every day.)

35. Mom…in all seriousness, you really ARE the BEST! (Most of the time…)

If you enjoyed reading, ” Hey Teens, Here’s 35 Funny Things to Write in a Mother’s Day Card,” here are a few other posts you might like to read!

25 Creative DIY Mother’s Day Gift Basket Ideas

What Every Mom Really Wants (and Needs) This Mother’s Day

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