This Post: The Real Reason Your Teen Wants Those Expensive Name-Brand Back-To-School Clothes
Whether it’s a name-brand $80 hoodie, a pair of Lululemon leggings that sell for a whopping $100, a $165 pair of Adidas athletic shoes, or a $35 Stanley water cup, chances are your teen has asked you to spring for at least a few name-brand back-to-school clothes and accessories.
And, if you’re anything like me, you cringe at the mere idea of dropping such BIG bucks JUST for a logo.
But, here’s what I’ve learned, parents.
Our kids might frustrate us with their expensive name-brand back-to-school wish lists. Seriously… do they think we’re made of money?
It might appear that they’re acting entitled for asking us to spring for things that cost the equivalent of three days worth of groceries.
And, our sheer logic tells us that they can buy the same hoodie, athletic shoes, or leggings (minus the fancy logo) on Amazon or at T.J.Maxx for a fraction of the cost.
BUT… when you’re a young tween or teen in middle school or high school, fitting in matters.
In fact, it matters a lot.
I found this out after having more than a few honest conversations with my kids.
“Geez, what’s so great about this hoodie? Not only is it expensive, it’s not all that great quality. Why don’t we head over to Marshalls and see if they have any hoodies you might like?”
“But Moooom, I don’t want to wear some weird brand no one’s ever heard of! I know the hoodie is expensive and we probably can’t afford it, but it matters to me more than you know. I don’t want you to think I’m acting entitled or bratty… I’ll even help pay for it. I just don’t want to stick out like a sore thumb.
For my son, it wasn’t as much about wanting to fit in, but more about not wanting to stand out.
I know… as parents we all want our kids to be their authentic selves, to stand on their own two feet, and be courageous enough to dare to be different. After all, don’t they realize that being different is cool?
However, if we’re being completely honest with ourselves (and we remember what it felt like to be a teenager), we’d likely admit that having the confidence to truly be yourself quite often comes with time, maturity, and wisdom – something our kids don’t have quite yet.
Plus, the comfortability of “fitting in” (at least to some degree) is something we all strive for regardless of our age or maturity.
According to Psychology Today, “The need for acceptance is a basic human instinct – although some value it more than others. We all want to fit in, to belong. To achieve that, we often present slightly different versions of who we are, depending on where we are and whose company we’re in.”
In other words, our kids might have a few different “versions” of themselves – who they are in the comfort of their own home, who they are at school, at their part-time job, etc. – all of which might be tweaked and modified to be accepted in that particular environment or situation.
Dressing like other kids (at least somewhat) is the social glue that holds our kids together and gives them the peace and comfort of knowing, “I’m one of them… I’m not an outsider.”
I think it took my kids’ honesty to remind me what it felt like to be an awkward teenager who’s trying to fit in, trying to find himself, and trying not to draw too much attention to themselves so they don’t become a target.
I’m not suggesting we all hit the stores and go on an expensive name-brand shopping spree. But a few name-brand purchases (like a hoodie, athletic shoes, or a pair of name-brand leggings) can go a LONG way when you’re a tween or teenager just trying to find your way.
Remember, too, no one says you have to buy your kids name-brand clothes at full retail. You can get great deals at thrift stores, consignment stores, and Goodwill, and if you keep your eye on sales, you can knock anywhere from 10-30% off the full retail price.
Final Thoughts
I think it’s developmentally important for our kids to learn to “unbelong” at times… after all, there will ALWAYS be times in life when they don’t belong. But that confidence to stand out from the crowd oftentimes comes with time.
I also think it’s important that we don’t instill the belief in our kids that “things” and “clothes” can help position them in the popularity hierarchy in school. However, let’s keep in mind that feelings of exclusion, isolation, and self-doubt can linger in our teen’s hearts long after they depart their teen years.
That’s why, it’s all about balance.
A few pieces of name-brand clothing can ease the social pressure teens face to blend in and gain the “social credibility” they crave when walking the halls of school while giving them a boost in confidence. And, as a mom, I’m all for giving my kids the tools they need to feel more confident – especially if it means springing for a name-brand hoodie.
If you enjoyed reading, “The Real Reason Your Teen Wants Expensive Name-Brand Back-To-School Clothes,” here are a few other posts you might like!
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