This Post: 22 of THE Most Important Life Lessons to Teach Your Teenager
Co-Written By: Marybeth Bock & Nancy Reynolds
If you’re like a lot of parents, you have a mental list of all the things you’re determined to teach your kids before they venture out into the real world.
When we’re checking those important lessons off our list, it’s easy to focus on the practical skills – how to change a tire, do laundry, cook a few meals so they don’t starve, or maybe even how to fold that impossible fitted sheet. And, those skills matter, but the REAL lessons that will carry our kids through life go much deeper.
Confidence, resilience, discernment – these are just a few of the skills that will guide them through college, careers, relationships, and those hard nights when life gets messy and they doubt themselves. The fact is, when we empower our kids with these truths, we give them more than a few tools and skills; we give them the courage to walk through life grounded, strong, and ready to face life head-on.
22 of THE Most Important Life Lessons to Teach Your Teenager
Armed with our own life experiences, lessons learned (oftentimes the hard way), and loads of loving guidance, these lessons will help prepare our teens for life.
So, before your teen ventures off to college, trade school, the military, or takes that big leap into their career, offer them these powerful words of wisdom…
Here are 22 of THE most important life lessons to teach your teenager:
1. Stay Fiercely True to Yourself
Yep, it sounds cliché, but it’s the foundation of everything. The world will always have opinions about who you should be, what you should do, and how you should live – but none of those voices matter as much as your own. When you hold tight to who you are, you protect your values, your voice, and your uniqueness – things that will carry you through life.
Remember: Don’t trade your authenticity for approval. It’s the most valuable thing you own.
2. Failure Isn’t Forever… It’s Feedback
Messing up doesn’t mean you’re doomed. Every failed test, missed goal, or awkward social moment is just experience, knowledge, and insight- showing you what to try differently next time. And every time you try again at something you fumbled or failed, you’re building resilience.
3. Choose Your Friends Wisely
If someone subtly makes you question your worth, doesn’t allow you to be your authentic self, isn’t there when you need them most, or they’re in competition with you, they’re not your people.
Surround yourself with optimistic friends who celebrate your wins and stick around when life gets messy. Remember, it’s not the quantity of friends that matters – it’s the quality. Then… focus on being that same kind of friend back.
4. You Can’t Control Everyone and Everything… But You CAN Control How You Respond
I promise you this: Life won’t always go your way, and the people you care about won’t always do or say the right thing.
You can’t always control what happens, but you can control how you respond. You, and you alone, hold the power to react in a way that suits you best… by staying calm, by keeping things in perspective, by creating distance from people and situations that rob you of your peace, and sometimes… choosing to walk away.
5. Focus On YOU: Your Happiness, Growth, Path, Success
There will always be someone else who’s better looking, more successful, has more money, or seems to have their life together more than you do. Focus less on others and more on you and who you want to become.
If you feel lost at times, it’s okay. You owe nothing to your younger self, but you do owe something to yourself today. Keep your eye on your own journey, not everyone else’s. Comparison is a thief. Social media can make you feel behind and “less than.” Remember, everyone struggles with something. You just can’t see it.
6. Learn the Art of Speaking Your Mind (Calmly and Respectfully)
If something’s bothering you – whether it’s an unfair grade or a friend who crossed a line – say something. Even if your voice shakes when you say it, SAY IT anyway. Respectful honesty always beats silent resentment, and learning to self-advocate is a vital skill you will use for the rest of your life.
7. Learn How to Manage Money and Start Saving EARLY
Don’t get wrapped up in the vicious cycle of trying to pay off credit card debt with high interest rates. Don’t spend money you don’t have. Start saving when you’re young. There’s nothing wrong with splurging occasionally, but learn the very important difference between wants and needs. Money can either control you or empower you, and the earlier you begin to practice, the more capable and confident you’ll be when real-world expenses come your way.
8. Never Stop Learning – Ask Questions, Lots of Them
Curiosity is a superpower. Don’t allow yourself to become stagnant in life. Vow to be a student for life… always asking questions, always curious, always asking, “Why?” Whether you’re learning something new in college, at your part-time job, or even figuring out how to navigate a complicated relationship – keep learning, keep bettering yourself.
9. Take Care of Your Body
I get it… You feel totally invisible. But, guess what? You’re NOT. You can’t run on three hours of sleep, a bag of Cheetos, and a Red Bull. I promise you this: Your body is keeping score. Taking care of yourself now (getting enough sleep, drinking water, making time to exercise, and eating healthy food) is like putting money in a bank account you’re desperately going to need later. You get ONE body in life. Treat it well because, unlike your phone, you can’t just upgrade it to a newer model when it wears out.
10. Be Careful with Your Words
Think before you blurt out something hurtful or hateful. Pause before you tell someone “the raw truth.” Consider the consequences of your words when you let your anger or stress speak on your behalf. A careless comment can linger in someone’s mind forever, while a genuine compliment can inspire them for a lifetime. Use your voice to build people up, not tear them down. (And this includes how you talk to yourself. The voice inside your head should be kind, gentle, and full of self-love.)
11. Life Isn’t Fair, It’s That Simple
You might not get the grade you deserve. You might not make the team even though you worked your tail off and you’re convinced you proved yourself. And, you might not get the job even though you’re far more qualified than the other candidates. Life isn’t fair. These experiences can either make you bitter or better. Choose better.
12. Your Mental Health Matters… A LOT
Your mental health will dictate how you approach the day, how you handle stress, and how you deal with loss, rejection, or failure.
But remember: feeling sad, anxious, or overwhelmed isn’t weakness – it’s called being human. Don’t bottle up your emotions, and don’t brush your feelings aside. Face them head-on. Reach out to a therapist, counselor, a trusted friend, or a family member. The first step is to acknowledge that you’re suffering, and the second step is to solicit help to get through it.
13. It’s Okay to Walk Away
From toxic friendships, draining partnerships, girlfriends or boyfriends, or situations (such as peer pressure) that compromise your values or your safety – it’s okay to say no and walk away.
It’s far too easy to waste time trying to figure people out, giving them second (and third) chances, and telling yourself, “they might change.” Don’t waste precious time in life by making excuses for others in your life. Move on and seek healthy relationships and situations that serve you well.
14. Nothing Worthwhile Ever Comes Easy
Hard work, determination, and sheer grit often beat out raw talent again and again. Why? Far too many people in life cruise along doing the bare minimum.
But if you’re willing to set goals, make calculated decisions to help you reach them, put forth the grind, and settle for delayed gratification, you can accomplish practically anything you set your mind to. Remember, too, if you’re not sure what you want or what goals to set, action breeds more clarity than thought. Keep moving, keep making decisions… the clarity will come in time.
15. Hold Yourself Accountable – Your Words AND Actions
You’re going to make mistakes. And that’s okay… we all do. It’s what you do after you make a mistake that matters. Don’t blame others for your mistakes. Don’t make excuses when you screw up royally. Own up to your mistakes. People will respect you far more when you’re honest about your fumbles. Remember, if you don’t hold yourself accountable, trust me, others will.
16. Life Moves Fast – Don’t Waste Precious Time
You’re in your teens and you feel like you have all the time in the world. But you have no idea how fast 25 will creep up on you, how quickly 30 moves in, and how 40 will leave you asking yourself where the time went.
Life is precious. Don’t spend it watching the world on a screen instead of exploring it. Don’t fill every spare moment scrolling, playing video games, or streaming movies – you can never get those moments back. Think about what you want to do, see, and accomplish in this world, and then GO DO IT.
17. Happiness is an Inside Job – Don’t Outsource it to Other People
If you’re waiting for your friends, likes, thumbs-ups, or your boyfriend or girlfriend to make you happy, you’re wasting your time. The truth is, things and other people can add joy to your life, but they can’t be the source of it.
That has to come from within you – by knowing who you are, what you enjoy, what you value, and what makes you proud of yourself when no one is watching. When you stop outsourcing your happiness to others, you gain something priceless: freedom. Freedom to enjoy others without depending on them for validation.
18. In Life, People Will Never Forget How You Made Them Feel
They might forget that you were captain of the football team or how you kicked the winning goal at the state play-offs game or that you had the leading role in the high school play, but they won’t forget your kindness, your empathy, and your smile when they passed you in the hall. Just remember, your character will carry you far in life, your integrity will be remembered, and your reputation will always walk into a room before you do… protect it.
19. Build Your Confidence By Keeping Promises to Yourself
Your confidence will ebb and flow throughout your life. One week, you might be on cloud nine because you landed the job of your dreams, and the next, you might be crushed because someone you thought you could build a life with broke up with you. Expect those ups and downs. That’s life. Just focus on keeping your confidence strong by keeping those quiet promises to yourself.
Maybe that promise is to put your all into what you do, to stay passionate about life and its beauty, to love the people you care about the way you want to be loved, or to keep trying no matter how many curveballs are tossed your way. Life will knock you down, that’s a given. What you do to keep going is what will build your confidence and your character.
20. Your Mom and Dad Won’t Be Around Forever – Appreciate Them
I know… It’s easy to roll your eyes at your parents. It’s easy to think they’re uncool, annoying, and far too focused on protecting you. It’s also easy to think that they’ll be there for you forever, but the truth is, they won’t.
They’re growing older, just like you are. Don’t wait until they’re gone to realize how much they mattered and how much they loved and sacrificed for you. Appreciate them now. Say thank you, hug them, and notice all the little things they do for you. Someday, you’ll be grateful you did.
21. Remain Grateful for All the Good in Your Life NOW
I know you’re in a hurry to get where you’re going, but aim to slow down. Don’t spend your time chasing the “next big thing” – the new job, the cool car, the high-end clothes you’re dying to buy. Be present and grateful for where you are and what you have now.
Of course, establish goals, but don’t lose sight of the beauty and blessings right in front of you. Don’t get so caught up in “what’s next” that you miss out on “what’s now.” Enjoy the warm sunny day, time with friends and family, and the little things that make you happy. Remember, the view might be fabulous at the top, but the true beauty lies in the climb.
22. Be Kind, Plain and Simple
Be kind with your words, actions, and intentions. You never know what others are going through. Just because you can’t see their scars doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
At the end of the day, it’s not the chores or the checklists that will carry your teen through life; it’s the lessons about who they are, how they treat people, and how they handle what life throws at them.
Mastering these deep lessons – kindness, self-respect, and finding the courage to speak up – will shape everything else in their life. These life lessons are the foundation of the life they’re building, one choice at a time.
About Marybeth Bock
Marybeth Bock, MPH, is a Mom to two young adults and one delightful hound dog. She has logged time as a military spouse, childbirth educator, college instructor, and freelance writer. She lives in Arizona and thoroughly enjoys research and writing, as long as iced coffee is involved. Her work can be found on numerous websites and in two books. Follow her on Facebook and Instagram.
If you enjoyed reading “21 of THE Most Important Life Lessons to Teach Your Teenager,” you might also enjoy reading:
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1 comment
These are all great life lessons to share with my teens. Thanks. I particularly love the grateful one because it helps us to stay positive and grounded to be thankful for our blessings.