Raising Leaders: 8 Tips to Teach Your Teen to Be a Leader, Not a Follower

This post: Raising leaders – 8 tips to teach your teen how to lead

If you asked your teen to point out the leaders in their class, chances are they could rattle off their names rather quickly.

They’re the kids who put themselves out there and pave the way for others – the class president, the captain of the football team or the class organizer who’s always on the front lines volunteering, working alongside the administration and organizing events. 

More often than not, we view those leaders as having an inherent quality (a gift, if you will) that sets them apart from the rest. In some cases, genetic coding does come into play.

But the fact is, most leaders aren’t born, they’re made.

Through hard work, determination, trial and error, and, quite often, by mirroring the leadership qualities of others, great leaders have learned to take charge with confidence and grace.

It’s what every parent wishes for – a child who’s not afraid to assert themselves or get involved, who leads and doesn’t follow, and who holds the confidence to take charge of their goals, dreams, passions and future.  

Raising leaders is not only possible, it’s also actually much easier than you might think. Groom your teen to be a leader.

8 tips to teach your teen to be a leader, not a follower

1. Set a Good Example

Be under no illusion. Your teenager is watching your every move. From how you conduct yourself personally and professionally and how you manage stress to your daily routine and determination – everything you do and say holds the power to influence your child. Raising leaders means we need to lead by example.

Teach your child to dream big by dreaming big yourself. Encourage your child to get back up, dust themselves off and keep going when life gets hard by being resilient yourself. Practice self-care so your child will too. Model the person you want your child to become.

2. Teach Them to Face Adversity Head On

Great leaders don’t succumb to setbacks, they learn to bounce back, make adjustments and move full steam ahead. Teach your kids to tackle life’s problems (small and big) with a “can do” attitude. Challenge them to dissect each problem. Encourage them to analyze the options methodically and come up with solutions to overcome the roadblock.

Soon enough your teen is going to figure out that life isn’t fair, that things don’t always work out as planned and sometimes, life is just plain hard. Grab those opportunities to teach your kids valuable lessons that they can carry with them in their back pocket throughout life.

3. Encourage Collaboration

You know those irritating school group projects your teen hates? Heads up, they’re teaching your child valuable lessons about communication, accountability,  responsibility and working as a team. Michael Jordan once said, “Talent wins games, but teamwork and intelligence win championships.” Your teen will never accomplish as much by himself as he will by building strong relationships with friends, fellow students, teachers and mentors.

Encourage your child to seize opportunities to work together with others by volunteering, being part of a team and aligning themselves with driven people they admire. Remind them that teamwork and collaboration are at the core of every amazing accomplishment.

4. Welcome Healthy Negotiation

Kids learn from a relatively young age how to negotiate with their parents. The problem is, most parents shut the negotiation down with the assumption that their child is being argumentative or disrespectful. The truth is, that back and forth negotiation is teaching your child valuable skills that will serve them well later in life.

Rather than saying “no” right off the bat, open the door to healthy negotiation. Give your teen the opportunity to (respectfully) present their side. Without them even realizing it, you’ll be passing along an important leadership and life skill.

5. Encourage Them to Accept (and Embrace) Their Strengths and Weaknesses

One of the most valuable lessons we can pass along to our kids is self-acceptance. It’s the first step in instilling confidence and something all great leaders possess.

Maybe your child is awesome at math but struggles with English. Perhaps your child leads the team in soccer but sits on the bench in football. No one is good at everything.

The trick is to realize your weaknesses, set goals to strengthen them, if possible, and hone in on the strengths that set you apart from the rest. True leadership requires self-awareness and an understanding of who you are.

6. Support and Foster Assertive Communication

Raising leaders takes initiative and dedication on our part, which means we need to offer our kids plenty of opportunities to hone in on their assertive leadership skills. The next time you receive a dish at a restaurant that isn’t up to par, let your teen do the talking when the manager approaches the table. When your child finds out their friend has been talking behind their back, encourage them to face the situation head-on with calm, assertive communication.

The more opportunities they have to assert themselves verbally with composure, (even if they fumble in the beginning), the more self-confident your child will become in their abilities to express themselves regardless of the situation.

7. Build a Strong Work Ethic

Everyone is motivated by something. Find out what motivates your teen and use it as a powerful tool to help your teen build a strong work ethic. If they’re motivated by money, encourage them to get a job or have them do a few extra chores around the house to earn money. If your praise is their primary motivator, (a lot of teens crave parent approval and praise – even if they don’t admit it), the next time your teen picks up their clothes without you asking, mows the lawn or offers to pick up a few groceries at the store, offer plenty of praise. If influence motivates them, encourage them to volunteer and take on a supervisory role.

By giving your kids something to aim for and them receiving a reward for their efforts (monetary or otherwise), they’ll begin to gain confidence and set their own standard of excellence while building a strong work ethic – all qualities that will help them be a stellar leader.

8. Make Them Accountable

There’s a famous quote that states, “At the end of the day, we are accountable to ourselves – our success is a result of what we do.” Leadership requires a healthy dose of honest accountability, owning up to our actions (or lack of) and learning from our mistakes.  

Help your teen become accountable by creating a culture of accountability in your home. Work together as a family to define your values, expectations, boundaries and rules, (your child will be more willing to abide by your rules if they’re offered a chance to weigh in), and establish consequences, so there aren’t any surprises when rules are broken.

The essence of great leadership is influence, not authority.

                                                                                 ~ Unknown

How are you raising leaders? Share your ideas and tips in the comments section below!