This Post ~ Home Alone: 15 Safety Essentials to Cover Before Your Tween or Teen is Left By Themselves
Written By: Raising Teens Today Contributor
Leaving your tween or teen home alone for the first time can bring on a whole new level of mom anxiety. You want to believe they’re ready, you’ve gone over a few rules a dozen times, and you probably even texted them before you pulled out of the driveway.
But here’s the thing, parents: Being home alone is a whole lot more than just knowing not to answer the door to a stranger or reminding them not to snack-binge while you’re gone (though they probably will). It’s about knowing what to do when something really unexpected happens and having the knowledge and confidence to make a smart decision under pressure (something my brother faced when the clothes in our dryer caught fire while he was home alone!)
What if the alarm goes off?
What if the power goes out?
What if a stranger knocks on the door and they’re jiggling the door to get in?
What if they’re scared and they can’t reach you?
You don’t want to freak your kids out with the “what ifs,” parents. Instead, the goal is to have a few conversations with them to help prepare them.
Home Alone: 15 Safety Essentials to Cover Before Your Tween or Teen Is Left By Themselves
But First, How Do You Know If Your Tween or Teen Is Ready to Stay Home Alone?
Well, age matters, but maturity matters even more. If your tween or teen follows household rules, makes reasonably good decisions, contacts you when they’re faced with a situation they don’t know how to handle, and you think they can stay relatively calm if something unexpected happens, they’re likely ready for short stretches of time alone. If, on the other hand, they tend to get anxious when you’re away, are easily influenced by friends, or have a history of taking risks, they may need a bit more time.
Start small with a short trip to the grocery store or to run a few errands, and check on them to see how they’re handling it. Then, slowly build from there as their confidence and judgment grow.
Legally, What Age Can a Child Stay Home Alone?
There isn’t a universal legal age for leaving a child home alone; laws vary by state. Before making that decision, check your state’s guidelines and consider your child’s maturity, judgment, comfort level, and ability to handle an unexpected situation. Being old enough and being ready aren’t always the same thing.
Before leaving your tween or teen home alone, take some time to walk through these 15 important safety tips together. Practice what to do, make sure they know how to reach you, and remind them that nothing is more important than their safety.
1. Never Open the Door to Someone You Don’t Know
You’ve likely pounded this into your child’s head, but it’s worth repeating. They should never open the door to an unexpected visitor or stranger, regardless of who the person claims to be.
It doesn’t matter if the person says they’re a delivery driver (even if they’re wearing a delivery vest!), a repair person, a friend of yours, or anyone else. Let them leave the package outside, or the person can return later when you’re home. If that individual won’t leave, keeps knocking, or makes your tween/teen uncomfortable, they should move away from the door, contact you, and call 911 if they feel threatened in any way.
2. Know Exactly What to Do If There’s a Fire
It just might be your worst fear and one that can be difficult for the average tween or teen to handle. Be proactive and talk them through what they should do if they smell smoke, see flames, or hear the smoke alarm.
Teach them to:
- Get out immediately. If there’s smoke or fire, leave the house using the safest available exit. Don’t stop to collect belongings.
- Stay low if there’s smoke. Smoke rises, so staying close to the floor can help your teen breathe while getting out.
- Call 911 from outside. Once they’re safely away from the house, report the fire and give the address.
- Go to the family’s designated meeting place. Choose a spot away from the house where they can meet. (You can also choose a neighbor’s house.)
- Never go back inside. Not for a phone, a pet, or anything else.
Make sure they know a way to get out of their bedroom and the house, and practice the escape plan together. (Even if they have to use a heavy object to break a window.) If they can’t get out safely, they should get behind a closed door away from the fire, call 911, and tell the dispatcher exactly where they are.
3. Know What to Do If Someone Tries to Break In
I know this isn’t something you want to think about, but your teen needs to know what to do if they hear someone trying to force a door or window open.
First: They should NOT approach the person, investigate the noise, or confront them. Their job isn’t to protect the house; it’s to stay safe. If they can leave the house safely without going near the person, they should. Run to a trusted neighbor’s house and call 911. If leaving the house puts them in danger, they need to move to a room with a door that can be locked (or a family hiding spot in the house), stay quiet, and call 911. Tell the 911 dispatcher their address and explain that they’re home alone and someone is trying to break in. Stay on the line and follow the dispatcher’s instructions.
4. Keep Doors and Windows Locked and Outside Lights On
Before you leave the house, parents, make locking up the house routine. Check all doors and windows and don’t forget garage entry doors. Also, have your teen keep outside porch lights on at night and a few lights on in the house so there’s never a question that someone is home.
If you have an alarm system, show your teen how to use it and what to do if/when the alarm goes off. They should also know the code or how to disable the security system.
5. Go Over How to Call 911
I know… it sounds pretty basic, but in a stressful situation, even familiar information can be hard to recall.
Your teen needs to know their full address and be able to give directions and/or markers if the dispatcher needs it. For instance: “Our address is (insert address). We’re at the corner of NorthPoint and Willshire. Our house is the 2-story blue house at the end of the cul-de-sac.” They also need to explain what the situation is, that they’re home alone, and why they need help.
6. Know What to Do If the Smoke or Carbon Monoxide Alarm Sounds
Smoke alarms and carbon monoxide alarms may sound similar. Regardless, your teen needs to know that both require their immediate attention.
If a smoke alarm sounds, they should look for signs of fire only if it won’t delay their escape. If there is smoke, fire, or any doubt about safety, they should get outside and call 911.
Carbon monoxide is especially dangerous because it’s an odorless gas. If a carbon monoxide alarm sounds, advise your teen to get outside into fresh air immediately and call 911 or the local fire department from outside. They should not go back in until emergency responders say it’s safe.
7. Be Careful in the Kitchen
If your tween or teen is allowed to cook when they’re home alone, be sure to establish clear kitchen rules. Younger tweens may need to stick to snacks and foods that don’t require cooking or even microwave use, while older teens may be ready to use the stove.
Before leaving them alone, make sure they understand:
- Never leave a stove or oven unattended while it’s on.
- Keep towels, paper, and other flammable items away from the stovetop.
- Never pour water on a grease fire. Instead, leave the house and call 911.
- If a fire starts in the oven, keep the door closed, turn the oven off if it is safe to do so, and leave if there’s smoke or danger.
- If a fire grows or they aren’t sure what to do, get out and call 911.
Don’t assume your teen knows how to use the stove or other appliances just because they can use a microwave. They need to be taught.
Should Tweens and Teens Know How to Use a Fire Extinguisher?
If a smoke alarm sounds or fire breaks out when they’re home alone, their priority should always be to get outside, stay out, and call 911 from a safe location. They should never delay escaping to look for an extinguisher or try to tackle a growing fire. Although you might want to teach your older teen how to use an extinguisher, putting out a fire should never be their responsibility when they’re home alone.
8. Never Tell a Stranger That You’re Home Alone
Even if your teen doesn’t open the door, they should be careful about what they say through it.
They should never say, “Hey, my Mom is at the grocery store, can you come back later?” or “My Dad is at work. He’ll be home around 6 p.m.” A simple response like “I can’t answer the door right now” is enough. They don’t owe a stranger an explanation.
9. Know Who to Call When Something Feels Wrong
Your teen should have a short, easy-to-find list of emergency contacts—not just your number. The best advice? Have them keep the list on their cellphone AND on a piece of paper, taped inside a kitchen cabinet door.
Include:
- Your phone number and another parent’s or caregiver’s number
- A trusted nearby adult or neighbor
- A relative who can help if you can’t be reached
- 911 for emergencies
10. Never Let Someone Inside Because They Say You Sent Them
Someone might show up at the door claiming they know the family, or that you told them to pick them up, or that they’re there to deal with a repair in the house or any other reason. The answer is NO.
Even if the person knows their name, your name, or specific details about the family, that doesn’t mean it’s legit.
11. Know What to Do if the Power Goes Out
Even the calmest teen can get a little rattled when the power goes out… especially at night.
Keep flashlights and batteries on hand and make sure they keep their phone charged when they’re home alone. Unless you have complete confidence in your teen, they should avoid using candles. Also, make sure they know to stay away from electrical equipment that could be damaged.
12. Don’t Share Your Location or Home-Alone Status Online
Most teens are used to sharing their lives online, but some information should always stay private.
They should never post online that they’re home alone. It’s not about making the assumption that every person online has bad intentions. It’s about making sure your teen understands that personal information can travel much furter and faster than they expect.
13. Know What to Do if Someone Gets Hurt
A cut, a burn, or an unexpected fall can be frightening when there’s no adult around. Talk through the difference between a minor problem and an emergency.
If the injury is minor, your teen should contact you and follow the instructions you offer. Be sure to keep a stocked first-aid kit in the house and make sure your teen knows where it is. If someone in the house is seriously injured, unconscious, struggling to breathe, or dealing with another medical emergency, they should call 911 immediately and follow the dispatcher’s instructions.
14. Be Clear About Who is Allowed to Come Over AND Who Isn’t
Before leaving the house, make sure your teen knows who is allowed in the house while you’re gone and who isn’t. They should never let someone in simply because they feel awkward saying no or don’t want to hurt a friend’s feelings.
If friends are allowed in the house, give them a few gentle “rules” to follow, including being respectful and responsible in your absence, what food/snacks they can eat, etc. If your teen is watching their siblings, establish expectations up front, including food, screen time, and what to do if an accident occurs.
15. Above All, Trust Your Gut and Call for Help
This may be the most important lesson of all.
We can try to cover every scenario possible with our kids before we leave them alone, but the most important point you need to make is that if something feels wrong, your teen doesn’t need to prove that it’s dangerous before taking it seriously and taking action. 911 dispatchers are always available to walk your teen through a situation if they feel threatened or scared. You want your teen to become independent, but independence doesn’t mean handling every situation alone. It means recognizing when to make a decision, when to step away, and when to call someone who can help.
Before You Walk Out the Door: Create A Home-Alone Checklist
Before leaving your tween or teen home alone, take a few minutes to make sure the basics are covered.
- Make sure doors/windows are locked
- How to call 911 in an emergency
- Emergency contacts are written down and in a designated, easy-to-find location
- They know to leave the house if a fire erupts and to call 911 immediately
- They know what to do if someone tries to get inside
- They know how to respond to smoke and carbon monoxide alarms
- They have access to a charged phone, flashlight, and first-aid kit
- They understand the rules for cooking, visitors, and going outside
- They know, no matter what, they can call you or another trusted adult
One Last Thing, Mom and Dad
We all want our kids to become capable, independent young adults. And one of the best ways to get them there is to teach them how to take care of themselves—one conversation at a time.
If you enjoyed reading “Home Alone: 15 Safety Essentials to Cover Before Your Tween or Teen is Left By Themselves,” here are a few other posts you might like!
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