Dear Teen Girls, Always Remember a Number Will Never Define You

You are so much more...

by Nancy Reynolds

This Post: Dear Teen Girls, Always Remember a Number Will Never Define You

Written By: Marybeth Bock

Dear teen girls, 

We see you out there…

Head buried in your phone. Wanting to be noticed sometimes, and wanting to be invisible other times. Wanting to be liked. Wanting to fit in. Wanting so desperately to avoid making any blatant mistakes that might cause others to tease you, talk behind your back, or dislike you. Your world can feel so overwhelming, at times. 

We know.

We know because we’ve been there. 

Dear Teen Girls, Always Remember a Number Will Never Define You


We know what it’s like to feel that deep uncertainty. That constant second-guessing about what you look like, what people think about you, and that you may never be good enough. We know what it feels like to be silently (and sometimes, outwardly) judged for your decisions, for your mistakes, and for how well you perform in school and on the field. We know what it’s like to feel compared to every other teen girl and wonder if you’re measuring up to standards that every single year seem to be raised higher and higher.

Mostly, we know what it feels like to be reduced to a mere number.

We really DO know. 

But we want you to know something… you are so much more than that.

The world loves to group people into cold and empty statistics overlooking the intricate, beautiful layers that make us all unique. 

Right now.


Exactly as you are.

You are amazing.

You are YOU.

There’s no one in the world like you. And, that makes you special. 

So before you go questioning yourself or worrying you’re not measuring up, my dear teen girl... always remember that a number will never define you.

Not a Grade, a GPA, an SAT, or a ACT Score

A test score could never define your capabilities. And, a GPA, SAT, or ACT score holds no bearing on the amazing things you will accomplish or the contributions you will make to this world on your journey. 

You are full of dreams and aspirations that transcend those numbers. Your future will be marked by your achievements, creativity, and meaningful contributions and connections you’ve made in your relationships, career, and society. No matter what you aspire to be, your potential cannot be quantified today, next year, or even in the next decade.

Not a Number on a Scale, Your Bra Size, or the Label on Your Jeans

You are not the number of calories you ate today, the number of minutes you worked out this week, or the number you see on the label of your jeans. And, you are definitely not the number on a scale.

You are a rich tapestry of all your emotions, strengths, talents, and resilience that defies quantification. The size or shape of your body has nothing to do with the magnitude of your heart, your compassion, or the abilities you inherently possess to make this world a better place.  When you look in the mirror, sweet girl, look into your eyes and heart… that’s where your true beauty and worth lies.

Not the Number of Followers You Have, the Likes You Get, or the Thumbs Up You Receive

Selena Gomez recently said in an interview, “Ninety-nine percent of what you see on social media is fake… don’t believe it.”

You can’t measure your value or worth by how many hearts you get on Instagram on any given day. You can’t put credence in comments from people who don’t know you. You can’t spend your time seeking validation from people who don’t matter. And, you shouldn’t waste your time focusing on “fake” popularity.

Instead, focus on building relationships with family and friends who are truly important in your life. Be the kind of friend you’d like to have. Go on adventures and live life to the fullest instead of scrolling and watching the world go by on a screen. Use that precious time to become a better version of yourself. 

Not the Number of Friends You Have, the Invitations You Receive, or How Many Serious Relationships You’ve Had

Oh, my dear girl, you are in a deep period of self-discovery finding out what you like, who you like, how you like to spend your time, and what makes you happy. During this time, friendships will shift – some will fade while new ones will be formed. You may enter into a serious relationship and you may not. Don’t get caught up in the number of friends you have, how many parties you’re invited to, or how many dates you’ve been on.

Focus on nurturing the relationships that matter – even if it means only having one or two good friends. It’s better to have a few friends who care about you than a bunch of acquaintances who would never have your back when the chips are down.

Not Your Age or Your Salary Later in Life

Age only matters when it comes to cheese and wine… that’s IT. If you’re 14 and you want to start a business, you CAN. If you’re 17 and you aspire to change the world, you CAN. Your age is not a factor, nor will it ever be.

The same goes for your salary. Don’t let the world judge you based on your paycheck.

You can find happiness in life whether you make big bucks or choose to live more simply on a modest salary. What you find important. Where you place your priorities. And, what type of future career you choose to pursue is up to YOU. 

So, when someone tries to reduce you to a number, take a deep breath and think about all the parts of you that cannot be defined or measured in numbers.

Think about all that you’ve been through over the last several years and how much you’ve grown. Your resilience can’t be measured, but it’s a testament to your inner strength, adaptability, and determination to overcome obstacles. 

Think about how much you’ve learned – in school and life. You’re getting smarter and more intuitive every day and becoming more aware of what’s going on in your town, your country, and around the world. You’re gaining new perspectives about life, about what matters to you, what interests you, and what inspires your curiosity. 

Think about the inherent qualities you share with the world every single day without realizing it – your kindness, your smile, your compassion, your understanding, and your ability to forgive. 

Think about all the people who love you – your parents, siblings, extended family, and friends who think the world of you and support you day in and day out in life.

You are truly multidimensional and just starting out on your path to discover your purpose and power. ANY number that’s carelessly assigned to you means nothing… don’t buy into them or give them control over your self-worth.

You, dear girl, are not a number. 

A number will NEVER define you. You are so much more than that. You are more than enough. Never, ever forget that.

About Marybeth Bock:

Marybeth Bock, MPH, is a Mom to two young adults and one delightful hound dog. She has logged time as a military spouse, childbirth educator, college instructor, and freelance writer. She lives in Arizona and thoroughly enjoys research and writing – as long as iced coffee is involved. Her work can be found on numerous websites and in two books. Follow her on Facebook and Instagram.


If you enjoyed reading, “Dear Teen Girls, Always Remember a Number Will Never Define You,” check out these other posts!

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Maggie Smith February 16, 2024 - 11:12 pm

Wow! This was so powerful as a teenage girl. I love this message! You have put all the things that my mom wants for me into a page. This is amazing and there should be more things out there like this! Thank you so much for writing this!

Nancy Reynolds February 18, 2024 - 6:32 am

That’s SO good to hear, Maggie! I’m happy your found the article inspiring and helpful! Pass the post along to your friends… more young teen girls need to rememeber this message every time they “think” of allowing a number to define them.


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