This Post: 6 Choices Your Teen Is Making NOW That Could Impact Their Future in a Big Way
Written By: Nancy Reynolds
There are so many things we want our teenagers to understand before they head out into the world. Throughout their teen years, we might find ourselves pounding things into their heads… the importance of making good choices, surrounding themselves with the “right” friends, working hard, and putting thought into what they want and where they’re headed.
But here’s something our kids may not realize: Some of the most important decisions they’ll make won’t feel particularly important when they’re making them.
They’ll happen in the hallway at school, when they’re scrolling through their phones, when they’re deciding to buckle down on an assignment or blow it off, or when they’re faced with a pivotal decision that could make life easier now, but much harder down the road.
6 Choices Your Teen Is Making NOW That Could Impact Their Future in a Big Way
Listen, parents, your teen’s path in life may not look like anyone else’s… and that’s okay. There are SO many ways to build a successful, meaningful life, and no single path is right for everyone. But there are a few things they can do now to help pave their path… six decisions, in fact, worth thinking about before they blow out their 20th birthday candles.
1. The Friends They Choose to Surround Themselves With
You’ve probably heard the saying, “Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.” Of course, this isn’t an absolute rule, but there IS a lot of truth to it.
In fact, our kids’ friends hold the power to lift them up or pull them down, help them stay on track or derail them, boost their self-esteem or tear them to shreds — that’s why our teens’ friends should be chosen carefully.
Does this mean our teens should only hang with kids who earn straight A’s or who have big ambitions? Absolutely not. It means they should choose their friends wisely and pay attention to how those friends are influencing them. Do their friends encourage them? Bring out the best in them? Celebrate their successes? Or do they tear down the very scruples, morals, and values you (and they) are working so hard to instill, or make them feel constantly pressured to go along with things that don’t sit right with them?
Everything from the name brands they wear and how they spend their free time to whether they cave into peer pressure and their attitudes about school and their grades – like it or not, our teens’ friends hold the power to sway our kids’ likes, behavior, and decisions – all things that can quietly alter the path of their future.
2. Whether They Choose to Put Effort Into Their Education and Skills
I’m sure we can all agree, college isn’t for everyone, and it certainly isn’t the only path to a successful future. Some teens might be determined to get into an Ivy League or top-tier college, while others will choose community college, trade school, an apprenticeship, the military, or head straight into the workforce. Each of those paths can lead to a successful and fulfilling life.
Regardless of which direction they choose, however, one thing matters: choosing to take their education seriously and putting in effort to develop skills that will help them down the road.
In fact, depending on their chosen career path, grades can be just about the only thing that does matter. A strong GPA can make the difference between getting accepted into a top university, securing a scholarship, or having the opportunity to pursue a career goal. The harsh reality is that a teen who skips class, doesn’t try, or decides that school doesn’t really matter might find themselves with far fewer options when they’re finally ready to pursue a career dream.
And even for teens who don’t have a 4-year college on their radar, their education still matters. Trade programs, technical schools, apprenticeships, and employers all value skills such as reading comprehension, communication, math, problem-solving, and the ability to learn and follow through.
They don’t have to know exactly what they want to do with their lives. But they should try not to close doors before they’ve had a chance to decide which ones they want to open.
3. What They Choose to Share With the World Online
They do it without giving it a second thought. They post a fun night out with friends, an adventurous dare, or them videotaping themselves while they’re driving. Sounds like something a teen might do, right? But college admissions officers view that and might see a teen who lacks self-control or who’s irresponsible.
Our teens need to remember that the internet has a very long memory, and virtually anything they post can have staying power.
Case in point: I was chatting with a teen boy recently who was utterly distraught. He worked hard in school to get good grades, was involved in sports and extracurricular activities, and created (what he thought) was the perfect college resume. But he overlooked one thing… his social media profiles. It turns out the colleges he applied to checked his social media and didn’t like what they saw… videos of him partying and drinking with friends.
It turns out 28% to 36% of college admissions officers review applicants’ social media profiles. So, before posting, commenting, or sharing, they should ask themselves: Would I be comfortable with a college admissions officer, future employer, or someone I respect seeing this?
Their online presence is part of the reputation they’re building. They need to make sure it reflects more than what they thought was funny at 11:47 on a Friday night.
4. Whether They Choose to Think for Themselves or Follow the Crowd
This is a BIG choice during our kids’ teen years.
It’s easy to go along with the crowd, laugh at something that isn’t funny, or jump on board with something just because everyone else is doing it. But sometimes the hardest decision a teenager will make is deciding not to follow along.
Learning to think for themselves means asking questions, considering the consequences, forming their own opinions, and being comfortable making a different choice – even when that choice isn’t popular. It means having the confidence to think critically and staying focused on their own path and goals, instead of letting other people think for them.
Bottom line, the people they follow along with and the choices they make to fit in can influence future opportunities, the mistakes they make, and ultimately, the future they’re working to build.
5. Whether They Choose to Develop a Strong Work Ethic
My mother always used to tell me, “Anything worth having is worth working for.” And the older I get, the more I realize just how much truth there is in that simple statement.
Whether our teens are focusing on their grades, working a part-time job, playing a sport they’re passionate about, or learning a new skill, they’ll eventually have to ask themselves this question: “Am I willing to put in the work and keep going, even when it’s hard, inconvenient, or boring?”
Because learning to show up on time, to meet deadlines, follow through, and take pride in what they’re doing requires an effort that will serve them well in their future.
And no, it’s not something they’ll magically develop; it happens through everyday choices they’re making today. They’ll reap that benefit when they start to see doors opening for them down the road.
6. How They Choose to Respond When Things Don’t Go as Planned
And yes, it’s a choice. Not an easy choice, but a choice.
How they respond when they don’t make the team, get rejected by a boyfriend or girlfriend, don’t get the grade they expected, or don’t get invited, included, or accepted. Those are all tough blows when you’re 14, 16, or 18 years old. And in those moments, they’ll have to choose: blame someone else, make excuses, give up, or decide that one failure or disappointment isn’t a measure of their ability or future and take a step back, own their part, learn from the experience, and figure out where to go from there.
Because those setbacks? Sometimes, they’re the very thing that teaches our teens what they’re capable of! And that, parents, quite often means allowing them to face those disappointments head-on while making sure they know we’ll always be in their corner.
Their future won’t be determined by whether they get everything right. It will be influenced by what they choose to do when things don’t go right.
When our kids were young, we made most of the decisions for them.
But now they’re growing up, and so many of their decisions are becoming theirs. We need to help them develop that mental muscle because the decisions they’re making TODAY could be impacting their TOMORROW.
Will they always get it right? Of course not. The goal is simply to raise young adults who understand that their choices matter, who learn to think for themselves and who develop the confidence to make decisions that align with the kind of life they hope to or want to build.
Because their future isn’t decided in one moment, one grade, one friendship, or one choice. It’s shaped, little by little, by the decisions they’re making today.
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