• Welcome to Raising Teens Today!
  • About Me
  • Contact Nancy
  • Privacy Policy / Disclosure Page
  • Where You Can Find Me
Raising Teens Today
  • Home
  • Daily Life
    • Mom Life
    • Dad Life
    • Advice for Teenagers
    • Best Apps for Teens & Parents
    • Best Parenting Books/Podcasts/TED Talks
    • Best Teen Books/Movies/Podcasts/TED Talks
    • Birthday/Party ideas
    • Empty Nest Life
    • Holidays with Teens
    • Jobs/Internships
    • Parenting Quotes
    • Teen Activities/Fun/Family Life/Travel
    • Teen Bedrooms/DYI/Decor/Organization
    • Teen Driving/Tips/Safety
    • Teen Mental/Physical Health/Puberty
    • Trends/Fashion/Hairstyles
  • Parenting
    • Parenting Teenagers
    • Parenting Teen Boys
    • Parenting Teen Girls
    • Building Confidence in Your Teen
    • Cell Phone Rules/Etiquette/Social Media
    • Connecting/Communicating with Your Teen
    • Cyberbullying/Bullying/Online Safety
    • Disciplining Your Teen
    • Divorced/Single Parenting
    • Peer Pressure/Drugs/Vaping/Alcohol
    • Sex/Sexting
    • Teen Friendships/Drama
    • Teaching Life Lessons/Chores/Independence
    • Teen Attitude/Behavior/Moods
    • Teen Dating/Rules
  • School
    • Middle School
    • High School
    • High School Seniors
    • High School Graduation
    • High School Graduation Party
    • Back-to-School Essentials/Organization
    • Grades/GPA
    • Finals/Study Hacks
    • Mental/Physical Health
    • Athletes
    • Prom/Homecoming
    • Parenting Tips/Advice
  • College
    • ACT/SAT/College Essay Tips
    • Best College Readiness Books
    • College Admissions
    • College Care Package Ideas
    • College Drop-Off/Move-In
    • College Freshman Tips
    • College Mental/Physical Health
    • College Parents Advice/Tips
    • College Success Tips
    • Dorm Essentials/Life/Decor
    • First College Apartment
    • Paying for College/Scholarships
  • Recipes
    • Breakfast Ideas
    • Lunch Ideas
    • Dinner Ideas
    • Snack Ideas
    • Beginner Cook Recipes
    • Drinks/Smoothies
    • Birthday Cakes/Baking
    • Charcuterie Boards
  • Gift Ideas
    • Teen Gift Ideas
    • Christmas
    • Holidays
    • Graduation
    • Mother’s Day
    • Father’s Day
  • Free Resources
  • Shop

Don’t Be Disappointed this Mother’s Day: 4 Tips to Make SURE You Have an Amazing Day

by Nancy Reynolds May 3, 2018
14K

 

Ahhh… Mother’s Day.

A beautiful bouquet of fresh flowers, breakfast in bed, and thoughtful cards written by my wonderful children where they each pour out their hearts telling me all the reasons they’re so incredibly grateful for everything I do and how much they love and appreciate me.

And, when I’m absolutely convinced I’ve been given all the warmth and love my heart can hold, they present me with the perfect gift – a luxurious day filled with pampering at a five-star spa complete with a massage, facial, and a deluxe mani-pedi. Heaven really is a place on Earth.

Oh… wait a minute, I have teenagers.

There may be teenagers out there who shower their moms with love and appreciation (lucky for you if that’s you), but in my house, that kind of special treatment and pampering on Mother’s Day doesn’t happen. It’s not that I have awful kids or that they don’t love or appreciate me. In fact, my kids are actually awesome.  It’s just that, well… they’re teenagers and sometimes, they’re a little clueless.

It wasn’t always that way. My kids used to be very thoughtful and appreciative.

When my kids were young my husband would pile them in the car (typically the night before Mother’s Day) and they’d all head out on an exciting, fun-filled excursion to find me the perfect Mother’s Day gifts.

After being gone for a couple of hours they’d walk in the door as giddy as ever telling me how much I was going to love what they bought me and how they didn’t think they would be able to sleep that night because they were so excited to give me my gifts.

Sometimes my gifts consisted of a giant Hershey’s chocolate bar (which they secretly bought in hopes that I’d share), a balloon, and a Target gift card. Another year I remember getting a cookbook and a small bouquet of flowers hand-picked from our garden.

What made Mother’s Day so special wasn’t the gifts they gave me, although I loved them all, but my kids’ excitement. Their enthusiasm, their pride in the gifts they chose, the time they took wrapping them and their lively excitement when they presented me with my gifts. That’s what made my heart melt.

And then… they grew up and became teenagers.

I adore my kids – all three of them. They’re terrific kids – caring, loving and kind – and I’m blessed to have a wonderful relationship with each of them. But, when it comes to Mother’s Day, they’re a little clueless. And, as hard as my husband thinks he tries to make the day special for me, he’s really not much help either.

If I left it up to my family, Mother’s Day would be just like any other day – feeding the cats, cooking breakfast, doing the dishes, throwing in a few loads of laundry, asking them to pick up their shoes in the middle of the floor for the fifteenth time and maybe running a few errands to get a jump on the week.

I used to get really frustrated. How could they not know that they’re supposed to treat me like a princess on Mother’s Day? I know I said I didn’t want anything for Mother’s Day, but I lied. I do! I want the pampering, the breakfast in bed, the daisies, dinner at a fancy restaurant, and the spa day. Heck, I’d settle for a rose and a piece of dry toast. Don’t they know I’m pretty darn easy to please?

It took me a couple of years to figure it out, but I eventually realized that my kids are basically caught in the abyss between childhood and adulthood. They’re too old to have the childlike spirit I desperately miss and too young to be adult enough to “get it.”

I’m totally convinced they’re not intentionally thoughtless. I suppose they’ve become so accustomed to me giving and doing and driving and buying and caring and cleaning without expecting anything in return, that they think I don’t need to feel appreciated. So, when Mother’s Day rolls around and I raise my false expectations in hopes that they’ll put me on the pedestal I feel I’m so deserving of (like all moms want), they just assume I won’t mind, just like I typically don’t mind the other 364 days a year when I give unconditionally and expect nothing in return.

So, I went on a mission to teach them.

Knowing that this is just the way it is in my house, a few years ago I laid down my “Mother’s Day law.”

Things are definitely different in my house. It’s not as though I laid down the ground rules with an iron fist. I, more or less, let my family know that Mother’s Day meant the world to me and that my idea of a perfect day was spending quality time with my family.  (Something that can be hard to do when your kids are all running in different directions.)

Now I tell my kids to clear their calendars (weeks in advance because teenagers need as much advance warning as possible) and I plan the day from beginning to end.

Mother’s Day is now my day. I get to call the shots, which means no friends, no other commitments, no “Mom, I have to meet Carly so we can study,” or “Mom, I can hang out with you in the morning, but after that I have plans,” and no cell phones.

Since I essentially took over the planning of Mother’s Day, the last several years have been awesome. My entire family looks forward to the day because they know I’m going to plan something fun and, in the midst of everything, I’ve taught my kids a thing or two about the importance of the day, what it means to me and the value of showing appreciation and gratitude.

Last year we went hiking. The year before we spent the entire day at the lake – a full day filled with eye contact (that was a gift in itself), conversation, and quality family time. Now, I actually look forward to Mother’s Day every single year.

As a mom of three teenagers, I’ve picked up a few Mother’s Day lessons that I thought might be worth sharing. Lessons that have helped me gain a fresh perspective on Mother’s Day and helped me enjoy the day without frustration, disappointment or hurt feelings. If your teenagers are like mine (loveable, but a little clueless), here are four tips to make the absolute most of your Mother’s Day.

Speak Up

One of the more important lessons I’ve learned as a mom of teenagers is that if you want something, you have to ask for it. Don’t expect your kids to remember Mother’s Day and definitely don’t wait around for them to make plans.

If you want your kids to take you to brunch at the new restaurant down the street, tell your kids to make reservations. If you’d like the entire family to head to the beach and have a picnic, tell your kids to clear their calendars. Or, if your idea of Mother’s Day is a pampered day to yourself, speak up and tell your family ahead of time. Teenagers have very foggy brains (it’s true), so if you don’t tell them exactly what your expectations are and what you want, chances are it will never happen.

Plan Ahead

If you want your Mother’s Day to be special you might just have to plan it yourself. And, that’s ok! Don’t focus on the fact that you had to do the planning and that your kids dropped the ball (it’s pretty universal – most teenagers just aren’t overly thoughtful), just set the stage for an amazing day doing whatever it is that’s going to make you happy. A hiking trip with the family, a drive through the mountains, a backyard bbq, or a day at the pool – whatever it is, plan it and make the absolute most of the day.

Adjust Your Expectations

Expectations are, quite often, our worst enemy. As a wise person once said, “Don’t blame people for disappointing you; blame yourself for expecting too much.” Of course, we want our kids to treat us like queens on Mother’s Day (and every other day of the year, for that matter), but the reality is, sometimes it just doesn’t happen. Don’t let your high (or unrealistic) expectations ruin your Mother’s Day.

Keep things in perspective and remember they are teenagers. They may not show their heartfelt appreciation the way we’d like them to now, but in time they will. Perhaps not today, perhaps not tomorrow… but, eventually.

Love ‘Em No Matter What

Despite the fact that your kids aren’t showing their warm gratitude and genuine appreciation for all that you do by handing you a fresh bouquet of flowers and treating you to a wonderful, relaxing dinner so you don’t have to cook, be under no illusion, they do appreciate you.

Kids in general, regardless of their age, aren’t always adept at showing anyone, let alone their moms, their appreciation. It’s a learning curve. And, with a few more dropped hints from you, a tad more guidance from your husband (or someone else you put to the task), and a little more maturity that will eventually sink in, they’ll someday reach a point in their lives when they truly understand the importance of Mother’s Day. Until then… my advice is to just love ’em no matter what.

Thank you for giving me life and thank you for not taking it back during my teens years.”

Why Not Join Us?
Thank you for subscribing.
Something went wrong.
I agree to have my personal information transfered to MailChimp ( more information )
Join over 3.000 visitors who are receiving our newsletter and learn how to optimize your blog for search engines, find free traffic, and monetize your website.
RAISING TEENS TODAY is a resource and safe zone for parents to share the joys, challenges, triumphs and frustrations of raising our oh, so imperfect (but totally awesome) teens. PLUS, sign up and you'll receive my FREE e-Book "Scoring Scholarships!"
2 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
previous post
5 Tempting Reasons You and Your Teen Should Cook Together
next post
Getting Along With Your College Roommate: The 25 Golden Rules

You may also like

32 Student Discounts Your Teen Probably Doesn’t Know...

For Teen Girls Who Want Something Real: 12...

Teaching Your Teen to Clean Without Being Asked:...

18 Fun and Trendy Birthday Party Ideas for...

Teen Boy Birthday Party Ideas (You Know…That Aren’t...

From “Later, Mom” to “Can I Invite Friends...

College Isn’t for Everyone: Helping Your Teen Choose...

Your Teen’s Summer Sleep Schedule: Why They’re Basically...

Sleepovers: Why Even Chill Parents are Pressing the...

15 Tiny Clues Your Teen Still Needs You...

8 comments

T.Morris May 9, 2021 - 2:41 pm

I needed this today. Helped me deal with the disappointment and sadness. I had unrealistic expectations for my kids that are on the bridge between teen & adult. Thank you.

Reply
Nancy Reynolds May 10, 2021 - 10:57 am

I’m so sorry you felt disappointed on Mother’s Day. My heart goes out to you… Speaking from my own experience, I know how hard it is. However, just remember, next year doesn’t have to be that way! Don’t wait for your family to plan something special in your honor. Plan it yourself! Since I began taking control of Mother’s Day, it’s been so much for fulfilling for me, and for my kids. Sometimes, our kids need to be shown what we need and want. Sending a hug your way, mom. XO

Reply
Sara May 8, 2022 - 8:58 am

Hello Nancy,

Thank you for opening this somewhat taboo subject. Going through it as we speak. My daughter just started premed and is in the middle of her exams, I completely understand but deep down, I expected a little gesture. My son is younger but he seldom takes initiative on these sorts of things. I will definitely consider speaking up without shame and planning ahead.

Reply
Nancy Reynolds May 10, 2022 - 12:47 pm

I know SO many mothers who have been disappointed on Mother’s Day. There is no shame in speaking up – it’s your day. Plus, it’s important to remember that kids (even older big kids) tend to be very self-absorbed in their lives. (They don’t mean to be… they just ARE.)

Reply
Vanessa M. May 18, 2022 - 7:44 am

Wow! Thank you for sharing… I thought I was alone in this. This mother’s day was very disappointing and I felt completely unvalidated. I don’t know if I have it in me to do the planning as I plan everything else for everyone and try to make their day special. But, most certainly I will consider your advise. Thanks.

Reply
SadMom May 12, 2023 - 6:42 pm

Thank you for sharing your views on this delicate subject. I have teenagers and both my birthday and Mother’s Day cause me anxiety, because for several years now I have been so hurt that I cried all day. I am embarrassed to join in a multi family Mother’s Day brunch because my kids have shown no interest. Anyway, i agree with lowering expectations and planning my own day but only for me – I already plan far too much for the family. I plan every small detail for their birthdays to make them soecial. My husband actually does appreciate me, but I don’t need him to nag the kids for yet another thing – that just kills the joy. Nothing I do or don’t do, nothing I say or don’t say, is right and Mother’s Day is just another day like that. So I will do something on my own, for myself. I think it’s the self fulfilling prophecy of our culture. I have read a lot on teenagers and how they grow etc and am doing everything to implement what I can. But ultimately our society gives them permission to be brats, “oh what to do, they’re teenagers”.

Reply
Debra May 14, 2023 - 11:37 pm

Thank you for the nice and reassuring words. My son is thirteen and was totally disrespectful to me today. He gets no guidance from his dad; as I am not with his father so I feel that he tries to please his dad by being condescending to me. I was grateful to read your words of advice .

Reply
Nancy Reynolds May 15, 2023 - 6:52 am

I’m so sorry to hear your son was disrespectful to you on Mother’s Day. I’m sure that hurt your heart, mom. One thing I know for sure is that 13-year-olds (God bless them) are fairly clueless about showing their Mothers true appreciation and empathy. Give your son time to mature and grow up a bit… with a lot of love, patience and understanding, he’ll eventually grow up to realize what he has in you. xo

Reply

Leave a Comment Cancel Reply

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Yep… Totally Free!

Join Us

Become part of the Raising Teens Today community and you'll receive new posts delivered straight to your inbox!

Follow Us On Pinterest

Recent Posts

  • 32 Student Discounts Your Teen Probably Doesn’t Know About

  • For Teen Girls Who Want Something Real: 12 Friendship Tips That Matter

  • 10 Powerful Tips to Become Your Teen’s Secure Home Base

  • Teaching Your Teen to Clean Without Being Asked: A Survival Guide for Tired Moms

  • 18 Fun and Trendy Birthday Party Ideas for Teen Girls

  • Teen Boy Birthday Party Ideas (You Know…That Aren’t Cringe)

  • From “Later, Mom” to “Can I Invite Friends Over?” Making Your Home the Hangout House

  • College Isn’t for Everyone: Helping Your Teen Choose the Right Path for Them

  • Your Teen’s Summer Sleep Schedule: Why They’re Basically a Vampire Now

  • Sleepovers: Why Even Chill Parents are Pressing the Pause Button

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest

Copyright @2025 - Raising Teens Today. All rights reserved. Privacy Policy


Back To Top
Raising Teens Today
  • Home
  • Daily Life
    • Mom Life
    • Dad Life
    • Advice for Teenagers
    • Best Apps for Teens & Parents
    • Best Parenting Books/Podcasts/TED Talks
    • Best Teen Books/Movies/Podcasts/TED Talks
    • Birthday/Party ideas
    • Empty Nest Life
    • Holidays with Teens
    • Jobs/Internships
    • Parenting Quotes
    • Teen Activities/Fun/Family Life/Travel
    • Teen Bedrooms/DYI/Decor/Organization
    • Teen Driving/Tips/Safety
    • Teen Mental/Physical Health/Puberty
    • Trends/Fashion/Hairstyles
  • Parenting
    • Parenting Teenagers
    • Parenting Teen Boys
    • Parenting Teen Girls
    • Building Confidence in Your Teen
    • Cell Phone Rules/Etiquette/Social Media
    • Connecting/Communicating with Your Teen
    • Cyberbullying/Bullying/Online Safety
    • Disciplining Your Teen
    • Divorced/Single Parenting
    • Peer Pressure/Drugs/Vaping/Alcohol
    • Sex/Sexting
    • Teen Friendships/Drama
    • Teaching Life Lessons/Chores/Independence
    • Teen Attitude/Behavior/Moods
    • Teen Dating/Rules
  • School
    • Middle School
    • High School
    • High School Seniors
    • High School Graduation
    • High School Graduation Party
    • Back-to-School Essentials/Organization
    • Grades/GPA
    • Finals/Study Hacks
    • Mental/Physical Health
    • Athletes
    • Prom/Homecoming
    • Parenting Tips/Advice
  • College
    • ACT/SAT/College Essay Tips
    • Best College Readiness Books
    • College Admissions
    • College Care Package Ideas
    • College Drop-Off/Move-In
    • College Freshman Tips
    • College Mental/Physical Health
    • College Parents Advice/Tips
    • College Success Tips
    • Dorm Essentials/Life/Decor
    • First College Apartment
    • Paying for College/Scholarships
  • Recipes
    • Breakfast Ideas
    • Lunch Ideas
    • Dinner Ideas
    • Snack Ideas
    • Beginner Cook Recipes
    • Drinks/Smoothies
    • Birthday Cakes/Baking
    • Charcuterie Boards
  • Gift Ideas
    • Teen Gift Ideas
    • Christmas
    • Holidays
    • Graduation
    • Mother’s Day
    • Father’s Day
  • Free Resources
  • Shop
 

Loading Comments...