Dear Teens: 10 Things That Are Actually Totally Normal for Your Age (But You Might Think Are Weird)
Co-Written By: Marybeth Bock & Nancy Reynolds
Dear Teens,
I think it’s time we had a little heart-to-heart chat…
Don’t worry – we won’t be passing out any long-winded lectures, life advice that bores you to tears, and, I promise, there won’t be any “When I was your age…” stories.
This chat is about easing your mind and hopefully helping you realize that you’re not alone. I mean, we get it… Being a teenager isn’t easy. But the truth is, what you’re going through, what you’re feeling, what you’re experiencing? Well, it turns out most teens are going through the same thing.
For instance, you know all those things you worry about, obsess over, and think make you seem “weird?” It turns out they’re ALL actually really normal. In fact, they’re practically a teen starter pack. (But you’ll be hard pressed to find a teen who will admit these feelings out loud.)
Dear Teens: 10 Things That Are Actually Totally Normal for Your Age (But You Might Think Are Weird)
So, I know it’s not easy for you to step away from your phone or video game while we enlighten you, but humor us. Just chill for a second and read on… You might just be glad you did!
10 things you likely feel, and so does every teenager around you.
1. Feeling Awkward Around Literally Everyone
Guess what? Every single teen feels awkward, at times. Yep… even the confident-looking captain of the football team, class president, and “prettiest” girl in school. You walk into a room and suddenly forget how to use your arms. You say, “You too!” to the waiter who told you to enjoy your meal. Or you spend an entire day replaying how dumb you think you sounded when the teacher called on you in class.
Totally normal.
Your brain and body are doing that whole transforming-into-an-adult thing, and while that’s happening, your social confidence is temporarily… let’s say “under construction.” You’re not broken – you’re just becoming a newer version of yourself.
2. Being Exhausted for Absolutely No Reason
You could sleep ten hours and still wake up feeling like you just ran a marathon. I know your mom and dad bug you about being lazy (and, chances are, you might actually BE lazy, at times), but a lot of the time it’s just your body craving sleep. It’s not laziness. It’s not procrastination. It’s just biology being “extra.”
Your brain is rewiring itself, your body is growing in every possible direction, and your hormones are doing acrobatics. Of course, you’re tired. You are, in fact, doing A LOT – even when you’re just lying on the couch scrolling.
3. Feeling Every Feeling at Maximum Volume
When you’re sad, you’re BIG sad. When you’re Happy, you’re on cloud nine. When you’re annoyed, you’re one comment away from unleashing on anyone who crosses your path. And when you’re mad? Well, let’s just say everyone needs to just BACK UP SLOWWWLLLY.
Again, totally normal.
As your brain develops (don’t worry, this is the only small brain science part), the emotion center matures faster than the logic-and-reason center. This means: your feelings show up first, loudly, and dramatically and your ability to calm them down is still playing catch-up. You’re not “too much.” You’re just a human who’s growing.
4. Overthinking, Well… Pretty Much Everything
Most (if not all) teenagers are next-level overthinkers. You spiral for 45 minutes because someone took a little too long to text you back. You rehearse responses to imaginary conversations you’ll probably never have. You lie in bed analyzing that one weird thing you said days ago when that boy you’re rushing on smiled at you.
Well, join the club – it means you care, and your brain is sharpening its problem-solving skills. You’ll get better at turning down the overthinking volume as you get older and build confidence.
5. Worrying If You Look Awkward or Weird 24/7
If you feel like you’re constantly on stage, congratulations – you’re experiencing what psychologists call the “imaginary audience.” It’s a teen thing. Every teenager thinks everyone is watching them and dissecting what they look like, what they’re wearing, how they walk, who they’re friends with, or what they’re doing.
The truth? Most people are too busy wondering what YOU think of them to notice anything you’re doing. And confidence isn’t something you magically wake up with. It builds with time, experience, and lots of “fake it till you make it” moments.
6. Outgrowing Friends You Used to Be Close To
Suddenly, the bestie you’ve known since the second grade starts to pull away, or the friend you did life with for years doesn’t “get you” anymore. Maybe you don’t have the same interests, maybe they’re moving in a different direction than you are, or you just don’t laugh at the same stuff anymore.
As hard as this is, here’s the truth: Most friendships shift dramatically – particularly in middle school. It’s really okay.
You’re learning who you are, and they’re learning who they are. Sometimes those paths overlap, and sometimes they don’t. Let people drift. It doesn’t mean they don’t care about you or that they’re a bad friend. As for you? Focus on making new friends who share your interests, direction, and humor. Your social circle will likely change many times and keep evolving throughout your life. It’s okay.
7. Changing Your Style, Interests, and Vibe Once a Month
You’re going to be a veterinarian. No wait — an influencer. Actually, a professional gamer. Definitely something that makes millions by 25. One minute you’re gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free… until Friday when you’re inhaling pizza like none of that ever happened. Your music taste shifts weekly. Your hair? It’s a seasonal experiment. Your personality? Currently in beta-testing mode. The truth is, you’re ALL over the place.
It’s all good. Try new things. Explore different versions of YOU.
Think of your teen years as a costume store where you’re allowed to figure out who you are by trying everything on. No identity crisis here – you’re just experimenting your way into adulthood.
8. Feeling Like You’re “Behind” Everyone Else
Do you ever feel like everyone else is smarter, cooler, more confident, more successful, more attractive, more organized, more everything?
First, keep repeating to yourself – social media lies. Nobody is perfect or as far ahead as they appear to be. Second, remember that everyone develops at a different pace. Some teens are more emotionally mature. Most others are still catching up. Some have their careers mapped out by the time they graduate high school; others explore their options before settling on a direction.
There is no correct timeline, and you’re not behind. REMEMBER THAT.
9. Wanting Independence But Also Wanting to Be Taken Care Of
You want freedom. You want your own space and to be able to make your own choices. But you also want your mom to make you a grilled cheese sandwich and bring you your favorite blankie. Sometimes, you just want to be taken care of.
That “I need you, but then again I don’t” tug-of-war sensation? That’s the exact definition of being a teenager. One foot in childhood, one foot in adulthood. It’s just that becoming an adult takes time.
10. Not Knowing What to Do With Your Life
You’re just out here chilling and enjoying life, and suddenly, you’re expected to make BIG decisions that impact your future? Whaaat?
Here’s the thing: You don’t need a detailed plan just yet. You don’t need to have your career mapped out to the T. (You don’t even need to know what you’re having for lunch today.) It’s more than OK to say, “I just don’t know yet.”
Your job right now is to learn about yourself – your interests, strengths, dreams, and values. You’ll figure it out… just give it time.
Every awkward moment, every overthinking spiral, every “I don’t know who I am yet” fear, it’s all part of becoming YOU.
You’re growing, and growth is uncomfortable sometimes, but it’s also exciting and full of possibilities.
So, the next time you catch yourself thinking, “Why am I like this?” remember: You’re like this because you’re a teenager. Cut yourself a little slack… You really ARE doing just fine.
NOTE TO PARENTS: If your teen is overly anxious, worrying excessively, or completely exhausted even after getting plenty of rest, reach out to a professional. While the above-mentioned behaviors are typical for teenagers, there can be instances where your teen needs professional or medical help.