This Post: 15 Activities That Can Help Build Your Teen’s Confidence Without the Pressure to Compete
Written By: The Raising Teens Today Community
My teen isn’t competitive.
I mean, he really isn’t competitive.
Put him in a situation where everyone is trying to be the fastest, strongest, loudest, or best, and he’s perfectly happy letting someone else have the trophy. He’s not trying to beat anybody out. He’s not keeping score. And he’s definitely not losing sleep over who came in first or if he came in last.
Honestly, I sometimes think he’d be perfectly content if the entire competition ended in a group high five and a “way to go” to everyone, regardless of where they ended up in the competition hierarchy.
For a while, I wondered if his lack of competitiveness was something I needed to change or “fix.” After all, shouldn’t he want to be competitive? Doesn’t he have the desire to take the lead on anything?
15 Activities That Can Help Build Your Teen’s Confidence Without the Pressure to Compete
But I’ve come to realize that confidence isn’t always a byproduct of winning. Not every teen is motivated by competition. And not every teen needs a scoreboard to feel proud of themselves–and that’s okay.
Some kids genuinely enjoy the race, the ranking, the scoreboard, and that feeling of beating their personal best. Others (like my son) are motivated by mastering something, building or creating something, the feeling of belonging, helping someone, or simply getting better at something they genuinely care about. They love it when they realize, “Hey, I’m actually pretty good at this.”
So, if your teen doesn’t get hyped by competition, but you still want them to be and feel confident, here are activities that can help them build confidence–minus all the competitiveness.
15 Activities That Can Help Build Your Teen’s Confidence Without the Pressure to Compete
1. Photography
What makes photography so cool is that it gives teens a chance to see the world from their own unique perspective. There’s no comparing. No winning. No “who’s the best.” Just them viewing life through their own lens.
They can start with their camera phone and later (if interested) invest in a better camera with different lenses and features. They can experiment with people, places, nature, architecture, food, or anything random that catches their attention. The goal isn’t to become the best photographer in the room; it’s simply to capture images that reflect how they see things, and having that ability can be empowering.
2. Music
The beauty of music is that it gives teens a creative outlet without requiring them to compete with anyone else.
Whether they learn a new instrument, join band in their school, take singing lessons, learn to remix music, start writing songs, or create something entirely their own, there’s a kind of confidence that comes from sticking with something that was challenging at first and eventually getting good at it.
3. Dance
Dance doesn’t have to be about competitions, trophies, or auditions. There are plenty of recreational dance classes, including hip-hop, contemporary, and cultural dance, where the focus can be on learning, having fun, and meeting others who enjoy the same thing.
And learning to dance well (something not everyone can do) can be a big confidence builder.
3. Art
Drawing, painting, ceramics, digital art, graphic design—there are so many ways for teens to create AND feel proud of themselves without anyone keeping score.
Art can give teens a place to experiment, make mistakes, and develop a style that feels like their own. And there’s something pretty powerful about looking at something they created and thinking, “I made that!”
4. Volunteering
Volunteering may not sound like a traditional confidence-booster, but it can be.
In fact, volunteering at an animal shelter, a senior center, a food pantry, or even helping kids can be very empowering. Knowing they’re helping and being of value can help them realize how much of a difference they can make.
6. Cooking or Baking
Give a teen a recipe, a kitchen, and a little freedom, and you might be surprised what happens! Honing in on their culinary skills is a BIG confidence-booster!
And let’s be honest—being the one person in the family (or the one friend) who knows how to make an incredible pasta dish or the absolute best chocolate chip cookies can earn them pretty cool social status!
7. Coding or Robotics
If you have a teen who loves figuring out how things work, coding, robotics, and other tech-based activities can be a perfect fit for them.
The confidence comes from solving complex problems and knowing something really techy that others are totally clueless about. (Seriously, that’s pretty cool!) Plus, the sheer tenacity it takes to figure out something complex can make them feel empowered… something doesn’t work? Figure out why. Still doesn’t work? Try again. That’s more than simply confidence; that’s a life skill they’ll carry with them forever.
8. Writing
Whether they write stories, poetry, essays, scripts, keep a journal, or maybe even start a blog, this is one activity where self-expression takes center stage, and they don’t have to compete with anyone.
Plus, writing gives them a place to develop their voice—literally and figuratively.
9. Travel/Interest/Adventure Club
Most high schools allow students to create clubs that reflect their personal interests. If you have a teen who loves to travel, whose favorite pastime is exploring new and cool places or is on a mission to try every new restaurant in town, why not encourage them to start a club?
Twice a month, they can head out with the club in search of the best coffee shop, the best burger in town, visit the new museum, or plan a short travel excursion (they can even plan a once-a-year trip to a foreign country if they can solicit a chaperone to go with!). Bonus if they launch an Instagram page that focuses on “Fun Things for Teens to Do.”
10. Entrepreneurship
Got a teen who has a “business-oriented” mind? Encourage them to launch their own small business! And no… they’re not too young!
There are literally a million ideas–mowing lawns/yard work, tutoring, selling jewelry or artwork, baking, planning birthday parties for kids, sewing, designing stickers, to name a few. Just the other day, two teen boys cleaned my windows in my house, and they did a great job!
Creating a business centered around something they genuinely enjoy can be incredibly empowering for a teen, especially if they can earn a few bucks in the process!
11. Podcast Just for Teens
Imagine a podcast specifically for teens, by teens. They could cover a myriad of topics, including “The Stuff Nobody Warns You About in High School,” or “Why Does It Seem Like Everyone is Doing Better Than Me?” or “Friendships: The Good, The Bad & The Complicated,” or “So… How Are We Supposed to Plan Our Future?” or maybe even “Dating, Crushes and Everything in Between.”
No competing, no awards, no “who came in first,” just teens talking to other teens about life. SUCH a cool idea!
12. Theater
I know… for a non-competitive teen who would rather disappear than raise their hand in class, getting on stage might seem a little intimidating. But theater can be surprisingly confidence-building!
Just being involved with the theater group, helping with lighting, staging, props, costumes, etc., can be awesome, giving teens a sense of belonging with a fun group. And if they feel brave enough, they can try out for a small part to get their “theater feet” wet! They’ll learn to use their voice, express themselves, work with others, and get comfortable being seen.
That’s a pretty valuable life skill.
13. School Newspaper or Yearbook Club
Writing, interviewing, photography, and design–just a few things teens will do when they get involved with the yearbook club or school newspaper.
It’s an awesome hobby where they can hone in on their creativity, minus the heavy competition.
14. Fitness/Yoga/Karate Club
If your teen is into fitness, a club (or just a personal mission) dedicated to health and well-being might just be their thing.
Think pretty much any activity that focuses on health, fitness, and keeping their body moving. From rock climbing and yoga to Jujitsu and Pilates, the sky is the limit here.
15. A Part-Time Job
A part-time job can teach teens things that are hard to learn anywhere else: how to talk to adults, handle responsibility, show up when they don’t feel like it, solve problems, deal with difficult people, and ultimately realize they are capable of far more than they thought.
And getting that first paycheck? Let’s just say confidence has a funny way of showing up when your teen realizes, “Wait…I earned this.”
A few other ideas!
- Book Club
- Chess Club
- Gardening Club
- Biking Club
- Animal Care/Shelter Club
Confidence Doesn’t Always Look Like Confidence
Sometimes we picture a confident teen as the one who walks into a room and immediately starts talking to everyone. But confidence can look much quieter than that.
It can be the teen who finally tries something new. The one who raises their hand. The one who speaks up for themselves. The one who sticks with something long enough to get better. The one who discovers a talent they didn’t know they had. And maybe most importantly, confidence can come from realizing you don’t have to be the best at something to belong there.
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